Bama/LSU Barnburner

Last night I got ready for the Bama / LSU game. I got my Orville Reddenbacher popcorn, a six pack of Dos Equos, phoned my buddy and bet him my normal 5 bucks in for Bama lol lol and sat on my couch to watch the college game of the year. This game was like me watching a bad porno from 1972 with a midget and a guy with black socks bangin some drugged out pant load my eyes balls just about fell out of my socket and after taking my 2nd zanax because i could not take watching this piece of crap anymore i went into a semi coma. Although the outcome was what I hoped for there were many shortcomings. First of all they played the game in New Orleans. Yes the same stadium where the Saints play. I hope they finally cleaned up that bedroom they call a stadium I was wondering how many people got robbed before the game started because not all the scum of the earth moved to Houston. Did you know that LSU was favored by 2 1/2 points. Do bookies really live in this shit hole. This city makes Philly look like the Taj Mahal. Then the cameras panned to Bourbon Street. So many drunkin, jambalaya eatin, craw fish eatin pant loads packed into such a small space. This is the same place where they celebrate Mardi Gras.
And what a glorious celebration it is, fat, ugly, gravy stained women wearing housecoats, and thongs on an ass so huge that it looks like dental floss on a movie screen flashing their amply sagging bellies to a bunch of drunken douche bags. I was all prepared to see players named Billy Joe Bob, Tommy Ray Lee, James Earl Ray, Jimmy Ray Jones. Instead I saw names like Darius, Marquiz, Santrelle, Don'tra and Jerrell. WTF. Bama and LSU how more southern can you get. What kind of names are these for players from Alabama and Louisiana.
Hey I watch Swamp People and Lizard Lick Towing and there no names like that. Well just when you thought it couldn't get any better the cameras pan into the stands.
I never saw so many white people in my life. All a bunch of morons wearing Tiger and Elephant heads waving Miller Lite beer cans. So I think I got it now. The black players go to college to play football and the white players go to college to watch the football games. Can you imagine when your kid comes home and says Dad I got accepted at LSU.
Make sure you pack him a canoe, life jacket, umbrella and a glock 9

You do understand that this place is rated in the top 3 for murder. I believe Detroit and Mexico are the other two and Mexico isn't even a part of the U.S. or is it?