K IS FOR KARDASHIAN

What happens when you are seperated from a burn victim husband? Well if your Kris Kardashian your banging a 30 year old that is half your age. Something is wrong because the guy banging her isn't black. The only Gold Medal this guy has must be in his pants. Kris was overheard saying " I don't date black men because my daughters would try and steal them. 37% of middle class Americans expect to work until they are to sick or until they drop dead,OY VEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. The Obama adminstration is listening in on German Chancellors Angela Merkels phone calls. I guess Obama thought the Germans were trying to take over the world, "AGAIN" or he was trying to figure out why they have such a good economy. What was the Jet game plan for the Bengals? Oh I know, not to have one. Listen if your Geno Smith being replaced by Matt Simms your fucking career is over. Lets face it the Simms boys ain't no Mannings. The Bengals didn't need a quarterback because Smith was throwing them TD passes. It's a big pile of shit and Rex Ryan is the stink emanating from the pile. Jets play the Saints this week weekend the score should be 70 -3 no stupid the 70 ain't the Jets. Do you know what the Jaguars and the Jets have in common? The both start with a " J" and they both suck.

WHO???????

Who are you when 63% of the American people hate you. You are Speaker of the House, John Boehner. This surprised his family that said 100% of them hate him. Bud Adams longtime owner of the Tennessee Titans died at 90. I guess he reached the 4th quarter of life. His last words were " the Titans really suck".... What quarterback spent most of his Sunday getting sacked and still beat the Ravens 19-16. Your rapist oops I mean quarterback by the name of Roethlisberger..... What happens when a loud mouth blond Patriot fan starts arguing with a Jet fan wearing a Chebert Jersey, she gets punched in the fucking face.i can't believe it, but it did happen yesterday... So what do you say to a woman with two black eyes? nothing because you already told her twice. Hey Bob Kraft,blow it out of your ass and take that fucking tie off your at a football game,oooo it was so sweet to be a jet fan yesterday. Is Tom Bradys mom still cutting his hair?did he get his haircut sitting on a horsey or a little airplane?? Who is his fucking barber,Helen Keller???. Can you imagine paying New York type money for tickets to The World Series at Fenway. What does the owner do with all that money? He certainly doesn't put any money into the stadium. The Green Monster? What Huh Duh? Its a fucking plywood wall painted green. Whats with the beards? the players look like they should be on Duck Dynasty. Fenway Landfill oops I mean ballpark will be hopping with when the Cardinals come to town Wednesday for the fall classic. Yeah a classic case of who the fuck is gonna watch this shit. Hopefully nothing collapses during the game. Bobby Valentine sends his regards

THE PIANO MAN

The Piano Man, Bill Joel played the Paramount last night. You had to pay 4 G's to stand next Tony his friend Tony and Tony's friend Tony to see Billy Joel who is as big as a grand piano. Drakkar permeated the air and there was enough gold in the room to fill Fort Knox. Residents in Huntington were overheard saying " I didn't know General Motors builts so many black Cadillac CTS's. The goomatta's were 30 years older and looked every bit of it. I didn't think hair could be teased that high. How electrifying to see an old fat man sing those great 80's oldies, Captain Jack, Only the Good Die Young and the audience went wild when he sang Scenes From An Italian Restaurant. ( I wonder why ) To bad Michael Jackson isn't alive to buy Joel's songbook so he could burn it alongside the Beatle songbook. Really you wasted 4 grand of your drug proceeds to see this pant load. Hopefully someone drove Joel to the concert. ( get it ). Is there anything worse than a Billy Joel concert? Yeah, Kenny Rogers at Westbury but thats about it. The only difference Kenny Roger tickets go for for 1.50. Fughgetaboutit

OOOO BOYYYYYY

The very talented Paul McCartney, yes thee Sir Paul of Beatles fame has a new CD no not a new cross dressing outfit a new music CD stupid. The name is "Memory Almost Full" yeah full of shit. This CD reflects on his marriage and romance with Nancy Shevell whose father owns New England Motor Freight. I am wondering if there will be any good truck driving songs on this CD. Remember the crap the Beatles sang, Help, I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Yellow Submarine, these songs will go down in the annals of my anus. Real shit. Lets be honest the Beatles couldn't shine Jim Morrisons shoes or wouldn't even be allowed near a Hendrix guitar. Paul why not make like Lennon and get the fuck out and take Ringo with you. The Beatles had one great song, Hey Jude the rest was fucking garbage. Thank god I still have my Beach Boy albums...... No murders have beem committed in New York City for seven days and there is a 26% decrease in murder from last year. That will all change if that left douche Bill DeBlasio gets elected mayor of New York. This guy makes Stalin look like a republican. Hey Bill just get the fuck out and take your afro wearing kid with you. An afro? How 1960 is that....... a 72 year old moron was lost for more than two weeks in a California forest. Whatsa matta you lost your compass. Here is some advice STAY HOME you idiot and if you drive get a car with navigation. And since your from California I am sure it will be a Toyota Prius or some other jap shit can. The Italians had the Columbus Day Parade down 5th Ave yesterday and nobody got whacked. The parade ended with everybody getting a free meatball hero. Andrew Cuomo was overheard saying Ive never seen so many black Cadillac CTS's in my life. FUGHGETABOUTIT

O MYYYYYYY

Joe Girardi listened to his wife and kids and accepted a 4 year 16 million dollar deal to manage the Yankees. Not too shabby since he will probably be fired after the second year. When asked why he went with the Yankees instead of the Cubs he said, Chicago sucks. How great is it when a cop is doing the perp walk and he's the perp. You know the look, head down, face covered, handcuffs hidden. The stupid polock that was involved in the SUV attack posted 150,000.00 and the judge should have beat him with a night stick. Just another punk with a badge in the New York City Police Dept. Toilet bowls are exploding in a Brooklyn co-op . People taking a crap are being blasted by flying porcelain when they flush. Wow that Church's Fried Chicken must pack some walllop. The state is finally going after workers who run up high overtime tabs to pump up their pensions. HUH DUH What. Really, they finally figured it out. Brooklyn real estate is going through the roof. People just love living 6 inches from the BQE and are paying dearly to do so. Listen you can raise the rent in Greenpoint and Williamsburg but you know and I know its still a fucking dump.

WOWWWWWWWWWW

Bruce and Kris Jenner are calling it quits after 22 years of marriage. When Kris was asked why, she said her husband wasn't black enough. Bruce Jenner who is now 63 and looks like he stayed in the pool to fucking long ( know what i mean ) spawned two children with Kardashian, Kendall and Kylie. I believe they got the name Kendall off a bottle of wine and Kylie is the next up and coming prostitiute in the Jenner/Kardashian clan. Hey Bruce, why not hang yourself with one of your gold medals. Mark Sanchez underwent a successful sex change operation, oops Im sorry successful shoulder surgery yesterday. They implanted the shoulder of a male so he can throw the ball more than 5 yards. Hey Jacksonville do u need a quarterback? An NYPD undercover detective was arrested for his hands on role in the chase and beating of an SUV driver this past Sunday. How unusual a cop involved in a beating of an innocent person. Wojchiech Brasczok ( Stupid Polock ) was seen on video pounding the rear window and kicking the SUV. Maybe this stupid mother fucker doesn't understand the meaning of "PROTECT & SERVE" Police are hunting four more douche bags. Besides what the fuck is a Wojchiech. I think in Polish it means asshole. BMW just introduced the new 4 series for their customers that can count past three. ( get it ). Sales at J C Penney fell 10% in August and another 4% in September. Because sales dropped 4% in September a spokesman for Penney said sales should get better the rest of the year. HUH DUH WHAT. Can somebody tell me what is going to make that happen. Whose running this place the saprano crime family. FUGHGETABOUTIT

OOO MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

What up with Eli Manning, does'nt he know that you have to the throw the ball to YOUR FUCKING TEAM to win the game. Does he look like he's a bit downsy to you lately??? or is it me. What up with Tom Couglin yelling and screaming on the sidelines. Hey Tom take it easy maybe they should put some Bombay Gin in your Gatorade. Coughlin is now blaming Eli for the teams demise. Tom, better start sending out your resume because your toast and Eli will still be the QB. How much does Michael Vick owe the bookies? A leg cramp REALLY ever hear of Ben-Gay no not that Ben Gay. Well guess what, Foles led the Eagles to victory so I guess you still have a problem. How does Vick get to keep his job. What a dog oops let me repharse that, HE SUCKS BALLS. Hey Giant fans don't feel so bad, The Jaguars are 0 and 5 so join the club. It was the Peyton Bowl once again this time against Dallas. Peyton has thrown a record 19 TDS in 5 games. It was all offense but the better quarterback won. Hard to bet the Broncos this week when they are 28 point favorites. Boston eliminates Tampa Bay tonight, The Pirates eliminate the Cardinals and Carlos Beltrash this afternoon and I pray to the baseball gods that the Dodgers kick the living shit out of the Braves. Wait a minute, they did that last night. Well you know what I mean. Jets tonight, Hey Geno our team is wearing green. GOT IT

WHAT A SHOCKER

How shocking, fewer new jobs were created than expected in September. How shocking, home loan applications dropped, and with that news so did the market. If you bought gold at 1700 bucks an ounce because some mob controlled financial institution told you gold could reach 3000 bucks an ounce, well guess what ? it closed at 1320.00. Hey Wlliam Devane, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Now these doches are pushing silver. Whats next a shortage of tin. How shocking, all of a sudden because of the government shutdown veterans in larger numbers want to get into the WWII Memorial. Listen you guys waited 60 fucking years for memorial whats another day or two. How shocking, the Obama adminstration led by President Stupid wants to sign up 7 million people for insurance under the Affordable Care Act the first year. Not bad that still would leave 23 million uninsured. What a fucking joke, the minimum cost for their best shit package is 300 bucks with deductibles around 5 GRAND. HUH DUH WHAT. AFFORDABLE???? The illegal immigrants get their health care for free, what up with that. How shocking, Tom Clancy had 17 No. 1 best selling novels sold more than 100 million books , had four No. 1 debuting movies and was worth 300 million bucks but couldn't make it to age 67. What up with that. Now tell us what the brief illness was, pills, booze, both or AIDS. Maybe he actually read one of his books and took an overdose. If you can't fall asleep then I recommend you watch the Jets at Falcons Sunday night at 8:40. You should be out like a light real quick unless you killed yourself after the Giants lost to the Eagles. The Cincy Reds got wiped by the Pirates. Hey Dusty, shove that tootpick up your ass. I was never a Dodger fan but I am now. Looking for a sweep of the Braves and hopefully the so called Brave fans will burn down Atlanta. Would be nice to see because I only read about the first burning in history books.

NOT SO GIANT

What up with Antrel Rolle ? this guy took too many shots to the head ( no not the Aaaron Hernandez kind of shot ). This dillusional nit wit says the Giants will win their next 12 starts. Huh, Duh, What??? You fucking guys can't win one in a row and this week you play the Eagles,oy veyyyyy don't laugh, at least they have won 1 fucking game this year. Well you are in a division that isn't exactly the creme de le creme of football. The first place team is 2 and 2 with a quarterback that used to bang a Simpson. Tom Coughlin challenged Victor Cruz to a fight after that trouncing they took on Sunday from the Kansas City Cheaps. Wish the cameras where rolling, because I would love to see Coughlin lying flat on his back. Hey Tom, wanna go for a cab ride like your brother did...get it????? Eli Manning the anti Peyton seems to have what they call the Sanchez disease. He can't throw the ball to someone on the same team or just plain can't throw the fucking ball. So now the Giants are looking for Coughlins replacement and may fire him before he becomes unhinged and walks into MetLifeless Stadium with an AR-15. Rex Ryan may be available by this seasons end. So this Sunday tune into Channel 5 at 1:00 P.M. grab a few beers and the Glock 9 and by the end of the first quarter you should will either have killed yourself or shot your T.V. Just do me a favor, take that Giant butt boy Mike Francesca with you. Listen when your in last place there ain't any place to go but 0 and 16

POLITICS... SORRY FOLKS

The government is is shutdown mode.God Bless Congress for doing their job. So here is the deal. National Parks will be closed. That means the liberal douche bags can't go to a National Park and hug a tree and the yuppie scum can't camp out and smoke pot all day while taking pictures of squirrels with their iPhones. All non essential government workers will be told to stay home without pay. How great is that, if your NON ESSENTIAL who the fuck needs you anyway. The elderly, the retired and the free loaders will still get their Social Security and Medicare benefits. The FHA will now approve fewer mortgages for home purchases. Wow, how devastating is that? Tell Congress to inform President Stupid we can't keep spending money we ain't got. We can't keep funding programs for the stupid, the lazy, the teamsters and the free loaders. Oops I didn't mean to insult the Obama voters. So nothing has really changed except there will be less traffic on the Beltway. I am actually proud to say I'm a Republican this morning. I gotta go now because I have a job, I'm not sucking off the teet of the U S Government.