GOOD NEWS I THINK?????????????

The jobless rate is up but it is lower than last year. If the jobless rate is up then how the fuck can it be lower. I guess if your an optimist this is good news, if your a pessimist then nobody has to tell you that your fucked. More good news for Anthony Weiner, the pig he was sexting with is going to star in an X Rated video based on her raunchy online romps. I wonder if she spits or swallows, judging by her looks she swallows. Two months from now when her fame has ended we will read about her found in an alley giving BJs to black guys so she can buy more heroin. Betcha her parents are proud. How about Teresa Guidice from Real Housewives of New Jersey. This over made "cum dump" and her guido husband who has bigger tits then she does had to come up with 500G to make bail on fraud charges. Her mom and dad are class acts, mom was using the F bomb at reporters and her broken down father was bending down spreading his ass checks in a gesture to kiss his ass. Now we know where the daughter got all her class. ALL LOW. Do they serve fabulini spaghetti in prison? These people give people with a bad name a bad name. I hope the next fatal car wreck I hear about on the Jersey Turnpike will be them. Maybe they can pick up Anthony Weiner on the way out of town. FUGHGETABOUTIT

REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????

Officials in Spain lowered the death count on the train wreck from 80 to 78. What up with that? . Talk about big numbers Anthony Weiner and his weener won't drop out of the N.Y. Mayoral race. I can't say I blame him, there are so many dicks in politics why not another one. Anthony get the fuck out and take that Hilary Clinton cling on wife of yours with you. Odds makers in Vegas are taking bets on the size of this dicks dick and if he is circumsized or not. Hey, 500 lucky Met fans you are about to get the opportunity of a lifetime. August 10th you can pay 200 bucks to sleep on the outfield grass at Citifield. Why pay the 200 bucks when most of you sleep on park benches for free, but i digress. What do you get for your 200 bucks? well, you get a dinner buffet and if your still alive in the morning breakfast will be served. Not only that you get to watch the Mets play the Diamondbacks on the big screen. Wow, just think you don't have to be at home sitting in your one room apartment watching your 15" tube T.V. drinking 16 oz Busch beers. Its gets even better, you get to schmooz with Mr & Mrs. Met. Gee, I thought Mr. Met was gay. Oh he is gay alright but not that kinda gay. Sleeping with 500 people you don't know? Hey pedophiles and sexual deviants this is your night out. I understand David Cone will make appearance in the bullpen, he will be the one jerking off. If your lucky you will find the clump of sod Fred Wilpon has his money buried under. Listen if your life comes down to sleeping out at Citifield then its time to throw yourself in front of the # 7 train. ALL ABOARD

WEINERS WEENER

Whats up with this fucking putzz Anthony Weiner who can't stop showing his weener. He wants to be Mayor of New York, I DON'T THINK SO FUCK HEAD. He was caught again sexting his penis to a 21 year old. First off he is not that good looking and second who wants to see this dicks dick. Your life must really be in the shitter if you continue to do this, and how about the dickheads you are sexting with. These are girls you wouldn't fuck at closing time. Now his wife comes out to defend him, pleaseeeeee do you really need his paycheck that bad. I guess he met his wife on the internet at www.checkoutmydick.com. Now that leaves us with the following democratic candidates, a loud mouth lesbian, a made member of a crime family, and some black guy, and a Chi-com. I think the serial killer from Cleveland has a better chance to become mayor of New York. Former boxing champion Emile Griffin was KO'd at the age of 75. There will be no 76th round for him. the number one city for having the highest percentage of heart attacks is, and the winner is, Huntington-Ashland West VA. Now let's figure this out, 38% of there popluation is obese, BINGO. I guess obesity and stupidity are a deadly combination. A deadly earthquake hit China, please let me know when the death toll is in the millions, otherwise who gives a shit. ENUF SAID

WHAT AS WEEKEND

Hey Met fans ( No not the Opera fans)What a big weekend you had at Citi field. NaS the rapper kicked off the festivities with a post game concert. The place was hopping. That was'nt the sound of Grucci fireworks you hear, that be the sound of .380's going off, DUCK. The first 15,000 fans got a bullet proof vest the rest of the fans will be told to take cover. If your into saggers you know the guys with their pants downto their fucking ankles this will be the place to be. You will see more underwear here than at a chinese laundry. Then on Saturday if you didn't get enough of NaS, the first 15,000 fans will get a Collectible Toy Truck. What??Its a truck displaying W B Mason, I see them at the Dollar Store for guess what, A DOLLAR. Then Sunday tops the entire weekend. The first 25,000 fans will get a Dwight Gooden Bobblehead. This is very authentic because it even comes with white powder marks under the nose and he is carrying a mirror and razor blade. The kiddies will love it. This all took place while the Mets played the Phillies. some of the Philly fans actually got their cars started to come and watch. You can tell if the Philly fans made it to the game because all the cheap seats got filled. Cheesesteaks, get your cheesesteaks here

REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????

What up with Tom Seaver? Did MLB tell Seaver 5 minutes before the game he was throwing out the first ball. Hey Tom, your The Franchise, Tom Terrific, you couldn't practice throwing the ball on that shit winery you own. Listen if your Tom Seaver you have to stand on the mound and not throw the ball like a girl. Just get the fuck out. You knew the National league wasn't going to win after that sorry display. How about the great David Wright, the star for the N Y Mutts. Two outs runner on third and in typical Wright fashion grounds out. He's the star? more like a burnt out meteorite. David do us a favor, pick up Tom Seaver get on 495 crank whatever your driving up to 120 and slam into a parked tractor trailer. People paid an avergae of 750.00 to see this game, boy did they get fucked. Do you know what happens when you mix heroin and alcohol? You wind up in Vancouver dead. Do I have to explain. Hundreds of dead sting rays washed up on a Mexican beach. Scientists believe they were protesting the Not Guilty verdict in the Zimmerman trial. What do you call a bunch of white people protesting the Not Guilty verdict ? Unemployed hippie douche bags. What do you call Black people protesting the Not Guilty Verdict? Scared. I hear the City of Oakland CA is giving away free A/C's and 60" Flat Screens. The Reverend Al Sharpton is holding a rally in 100 cities to protest the verdict in the Zimmerman trial. Admission is free, that means all blacks must attend. FUGHGETABOUTIT

WOWWWWWWWWWWWW

Asiana Airlines has released the names of the pilots of the plane that crashed at SFO. Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang ding Ow. It is reported that the natives are still restless after the Zimmerman verdict. P.C. Richards and Best Buy said they will shutter their stores until further notice. President Obama has asked all liquor stores in Oakland to close until further notice. All whites in Times Square protesting the not guilty verdict are mostly uneducated, without jobs and still living with their parents. Who else has time to protest?Guess who won't be on the next season of GLEE. You guessed it Cory Monteith. Police have listed the cause of death as being stuck in Vancouver. The Kardashians just won't go away. Now Mama Pig will get her own TV show. Whats next Bruce Jenner in a reality series called Burn Victim. JUST GET OUT

MY O MYYYYYYYYYYYY

What was a Tennessee woman to do when her husband breaks an order of protection and threatens to kill her and the kids. You got it, she shot this asshole and killed this piece of shit 15 minutes after he was released from prison and threatened her again. What didn't this asshole understand ? Maybe the Order of Protection was in fine print or maybe being from Tennessee he couldn't read it. Either way he now has holes were he never did. What is the world coming to when a man down south can't say " Hey bitch get me another Schlitz before I smack ya ".... Another Patriot player Alfonzo Dennard was arrested, this time for DUI. What a team the owner Kraft has in New England. A murderer, a drunk, an idiot ( that would be Tom Brady ) and a virgin ( do I have to name names ) What are the requirements to play for the Patriots? Are you a felon, Do you come to practice armed, Do you drink & drive, do you drive and drink, Do you like to date models, Do you have homicidal tendencies, have you spent time in a mental institution with Bill Belichik. Belichik was overheard saying " I hope I have enough players left before the season starts" Genital searches will be halted at Guantonamo, WHY? President Obama said the guards told him that if you've seen one hairy muslim ball sack you've seen them all. Derek Jeter will be released from the old age home today, im hoping he breaks his ankle in the first inning. WHY? That removes all doubts that it will happen again. Has anybody seen the new Chevy Impala? If you did then why are you driving a fucking Honda. FUGHGETABOUTIT

OOOOOOOOOO BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Randy Travis the country singing legend was listed in critical condition due to a heart problem. The heart of the problem is he drinks too fucking much. He joins a list of people in critical condition, The Ketchup Queen Teresa Heinz and Nelson Mandela. hopefully this list will shorten quickly. ( Get It ). Here is an NFL update::: 28 players have been arrested since the Super Bowl., well make that 29. Giants LB Connor was arrested at a philly airport for carrying a switchblade knife in his luggage. When asked why he was carrying it he replied " doesn't everybody carry a weapon in philly". Like father like son, Lawrence Taylor Jr. was arrested for molesting a 16 year old girl. When Sr. was asked about his son getting arrested he replied " thats my boy " Victor Cruz signed a 30 million 5 year contract with the Giants. Vegas is taking bets when he will file for bankruptcy or get arrested for murder. The F A A has issued new safety warning following the crash of a 777 in San Francisco. You are advised to stay aboard an aircraft that crashes. Your chances of survival are greater because you are less likely to get killed by Emergency Service Vehicles arriving at the scene. This is your pilot speaking, We are approaching SFO please prepare to die. FUGHGETABOUTIT

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS

Did you hear that Elliot Spitzer wants to run for controller of New York City. REALLY!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.... Who will be his assistant Ashley Dupre. ( Do I have to explain ). Another sexual deviant seeking elected office after being disgraced. I guess he thinks he can fuck all of us. Like Anthony Weiner these people have no shame. This is what the Democratic Party in New York has to offer the public. Why not throw in some serial killers to really make it interesting.... I couldn't believe it when I heard a plane crashed in San Francisco and one person who survived the crash was killed when she was hit by an emergency service vehicle. WHAT UP with that. I thought these people were suppose to save people NOT FUCKING RUN THEM DOWN. Listen if your running down the tarmac, in tattered clothes, your hair is on fire and your missing a shoe screaming help me help me I guess you make a good target.... A Baltimore Ravens cheerleader was killed in a motorcycle accident. Here is the good news, Ray Lewis wasn't the driver. A Hotel collapsed in India, only twelve people were killed? this is very disappointing news. Andy Murray is the first englishman since 1936 to win the mens singles at Wimbledon. Who gives a flying fuck.... Teresa Heinz, the Ketchup Queen is critically ill. Rumor has it she tried to overdose on ketchup. FUGHGETABOUTIT

THE WARS OF THE DAY

Two rival Mexican Soccer team fans went to war in Las Vegas. The fight started in the parking lot and escalated in the stadium. Whatsa Matta these guys thought it was Cinco De Mayo. Needless to say the game was canceled, no big deal it would have ended in a tie or several homicides. They should post a big sign that reads : "No Cerveza si sirve aqui" Either they drink too much fire water and go to sleep or start a brawl. Did the cops check to see if these hoodlums were legals. OLVIDARSE DE EL. The New England Patriots will allow fans that have a Aaron Hernandez jersey to trade it for any jersey of they chose. No they don't have any O J Simpsons jerseys. I suggest you grab a Tebow jersey because it will be a collectors item. Twenty Eight football players has been arrested since the Super Bowl. Isn't that an amazing number? I was thinking it was higher. Two of the twenty eight were white. WHAT UP WITH THAT. The football commissioner, Roger Goodell said " there is no truth to the rumors that crime goes down during football games" The inventor of the mouse died. No stupid not the rodent, the computer. He said he felt compelled to invent the mouse after Al Gore invented the internet. Vegas is taking bets on how long the next President of Egypt will last. I guess that Muslim Brotherhood Party wasn't the way to go. I guess Allah fucked you guys again. Nelson Mandela is now listed in GRAVE condition. Well I guess that would be an appropriate word to use. FUGHGETABOUTIT

A QUICKY

four black men walked into the Borgata Hotel went into the jewelry store and stole an assortment of Rolex watches. If you hear about four black guys each found with a bullet hole in the head wearing a Rolex watch then consider the case solved. No the case isn't closed it was SOLVED lol lol . Never rob from a Hotel whose name ends in a vowel. Here is the story of another dope. The V.P. of Product Development at Tiffany stole 1.3 mil in jewelry over a 2 year period. I guess she was trying to save for her retirement. Whatsa Matta Tiffany doesn't have a 401K. Do you know what happens when you fire the grandson of a Gambino family associate. You guessed it, you get whacked. Fortunately the attempted whackee was just wounded. FUGHGETABOUTIT

WTF IS ?????

WTF IS a Maserati Ghibli, I will tell you. Its an entry level Maserati starting at 65 grand. I guess they thought the Soprano wannabes were driving too many Caddy CTS's. You guessed it, the pizza oven is an option. This is for those that can't afford the Maserati Linguine. I equate this to the people who buy the Mercedes E Class because they can't afford the Nazi Box S Class. You can tell your friends you own a Mercedes and when you turn your back they are laughing at you. An EF Zero Tornado touched down in Jersey. WTF is an EF Zero wind gust of 5MPH ? There was extensive damage reported. Pansies were blown out of their pots, wind chimes were blown off their hooks and one person was reported to get hit by a flying gum wrapper, no medical attention was required. An EF Zero REALLY!!!! Get back to me when your house is blown off its foundation. WTF, President Pantload visited the prison cell where Nelson Mandela was held for years. Why didn't they slam the cell door and lock him in. He was also in seen in Tanzania doing the Curly Shuffle. There is no truth to the rumors that the So Africans admire Michelle Obamas teeth. WTF, the Chi-coms got a 235 million dollar renovation project for the Verrazano Bridge. When the Steelworkers Union was asked to comment all they said was FUGHGETABOUTIT