TODAYS NEWS

General Norman Schwarzkopf passed away at age 78. This is the same General who beat the Iraqis so fucking bad they have a picture of him next to the word "beat" in the dictionary. Alas he beat the Iraqia but he couldn't beat pneumonia.Did you hear that Marilyn Monroe had ties to communism? at this stage of the game who gives a flying fuck. Guess who didn't live to 78? thats right Marilyn Monroe. She is dead and still won't get the fuck out of here. Talking about dead people Brintney Spears is getting canned from X Factor, why not call K-Fed maybe he can give you a facial. What car do you think government officals will be driving off the fiscal cliff, That's right a Toyota Camry. Can't get more American than that. The rare finback whale that washed ashore in Breezy Point died. Well at least it will blend in with the rest of the garbage. Kim Kardashian got a pair of shoes for Christmas from Kanye West. A pair of fucking shoes? Well you know what they say " Once you go black you can't get credit " Whatsa matta he couldn't find the jewelry dept. Is P Diddy German? If not why does he wear socks with his sandals. A jet skidded off the runway at Shit Hole Airport in Islip. Did Toyota install the brakes on this thing. Rex Ryan wants out unless the owner spends money for his offense. Goodbye Rex just get the fuck out. Now you blaming the owner for a bad offense? Is that Woody Johnson wearing the sunglasses on the sidelines or Tony Sporano. Avery Johnson got fired as the Nets head coach. Really you say, yes really. After being named coach of the month in November he gets fired in December. Whose running that plantation anyway? Massa better get that group under control. Whatsa Matta you didn't know black guys play basketball

WHAT A BEATING

Are you one of those lucky Toyota drivers? Toyota reached a 1 Billion dollar with a "B" settlement because the fucking gas pedal would stick causing this rice cake to accelerate until you crashed into a fucking brick wall. I don't get it people continue to buy these hideous looking shit cans. I would rather own a used Pinto before I even walked into a Toyota showroom. Talk about getting beat Andruw Jones was arrested again for you guessed it, beating his wife. Who is Andruw Jones? he is the former useless outfielder for the Atlanta Braves and New York Yankees.Atlanta is the same team whose manager Bobby Cox beat the shit out of his wife. Must be pretty common in Atlanta or something in the water not really sure or maybe it's that Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. They said Andruw was dazed and confused when arrested but they believe that was his normal appearance. Andruw won't be showing up at any mensa meetings. How about Ochocinco ( Chad Johnson ) asking the FBI to find out who hacked X-rated footage from his phone. Who wants to watch this train wreck having sex with two women. The woman are alledged to be Kim & Khloe Kardashian,just a guess on my part. This is another piece of shit who head butted his now ex-wife Evelyn Lozada. Can't the Plantation owners of the NFL and MLB get these guys under control. Michael Jackson is getting married oops I mean Janet Jackson does the lucky guy know this chicks got a dick. A whale is stranded on a Queens beach. At first I was wondering why Khloe Kardashian was swimming in Queens it turns out a rare finback whale tried to commit suicide why else would it be in Breezy Point.

WHAT DID WE MISS

Has anyone seen the Rev Al Sharpton lately? Check out the cover of the daily News. does he have AIDS? I think he does because he has been fucking the American public for years. Well another physco shot and killed 2 innocent responders with an assault rifle in a small town outside of Rochester, N.Y. What up with that? has anybody seen a picture of this loon. I guess anybody can walk into a gun store that looks like Charles Manson and buy an assault rifle. So just to make sure my family is safe I am buying a fucking tank. What is going on? Do these guys sit around in their Lazy Boy recliners wearing boxer shorts scratching their nut bag drink Pabst Blue Rbbon with a vision of sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads and decide I think today is a good day to wipe out an entire town. We should round these people up and send them to Afghanistan, Bring our troops home and let these guys finish in a week what we could not do in years. Did you hear that Jack Klugman was dead. I was shocked when I heard the news because I thought he died in 1980. Hey is Tony Randall still alive?, I guess not so the new TV Series will be called the Dead Couple. Another actor died this weekend, Charles Durning. no jokes about this guy he served in WWII was part of the Normandy Invasion and was captured but escaped during the Battle of the Bulge he earned a Silver Star and 3 Purple Hearts ,Hey Tom Cruise GO FUCK YOURSELF. They say that famous people die in groups of 3. Hey Lohan its time to check out and if its not you Huge Hefner will do after all he has fucked everything and them some. Murder in New York is down 19% just think if everybody owned a gun murder would be down 100%. Could somebody please tell me when we go over the fiscal cliff. I was promised a lot of things this year #1 Obama would never be re-elected # 2 The Mayans promised the end of the world # 3 We are headed for a fiscal cliff. Can somebody at least give me 1 out 3. The Lakers beat the Knicks, Kobe was overheard saying " The white woman are on me "

THE MAYANS

What a bunch of stupid bastards. How disappointed was I to wake up to find that I woke the fuck up. Whatsa Matta some stupid fucking Mayan ran out of rock to put dates on so it was considered the end of world. If it was a female she was probably worried about her abortion rights. Was Roe Vs. Wade around back then? So fortunately it wasn't the end so we go on with Andrew Cuomo pushing for the toughest gun laws in the nation. Wow an italian against guns? I guess the mob will just have to use bats ( no not the kind that hang in caves ) Hey Andrew, I thought your father was an asshole I didn't know you could have two assholes. Hey stupid how about enforcing the laws that are already on the fuckin books. It takes the salughter of 26 innocent people for you to speak out. I guess gun reform will put Immigration reform on the back burner, just asking. The Jets will continue to suck but at least they will suck without Tebow and Sanchez. Didn't anybody notice that Tebow had a 45 degree slope to his head and his eyes were close together, DUH..... Poor rapper Fat Joe had to plead guilty for failing to pay taxes on 3 million dollars. His excuse was he couldn't count that fuckin high. Did anybody catch Khloe Kardashian on X Factor last night, does this chick have a cock? I was watching closely to see if she had an adams apple. I actually thought it was Kris Humphries in a dress. Are there any black guys actually banging this chick. Not to worry about the fiscal cliff, Congress is going on Christmas vacation. I guess its just not that important. The Mayans almost had me believing in the end because the Knicks are in first place. Happy holiday to all

IT JUST GETS BETTER

Did you hear this? The Jets are entertaining the thought of going after Michael Vick as their QB. Can the end of the world just happen today. Just what New York needs another putzzzzz. Well at least they will have their second black quarterback. Pennington was the first in case you didn't know. Does Rex Ryan have a picture of the Braylon Edwards fucking Woody Johnson, how does this fucking idiot keep his job? Lets not forget Rex put his stamp of approval on this team of under performers. The news gets worse, Norv ( by the way what the fuck is a Norv ) Turner the horrble coach of the Chargers wants to be the offensive coordinator if Sporano gets fired. Great another proven loser. What we have here is a management team full of fucking clueless assholes. The only good news is Sanchez is out of here and hopefully Tebow is right behind him. Somebody start the team bus and head over to the N.J. Unemployment Office.... How about the Yankees signing 60 year old Ichiro to a two year contract worth millions of dollars, thats alot of fuckin yen. The Yankees said 60 years old in Japanese years isn't the same as a 60 year old in America and may give Jeter a 500 milion 10 year contract. So it's 40 year old Jeter, 50 year old Mariano, 60 year old Ichiro, something called a Youkilis and an overweight pitcher with big baggy pants. The only good news is the Swisher is out of here. Now thats Swish-A-licious. Now on the white side of New York at Citifield the Mets who will finish dead last have a starting rotation of Johan ( The Rapist ) Santana, Jon ( Broken Nose ) Neise, Matt Harvey ( Never trust a guy with two first names ), Dillon ( Gay Goatee ) Gee and Jeremy Hefner ( No relationship to Hugh Hefner ) Did you here R A Dickey a Cy Young winner for the Mets got fucked like Tom Seaver. Well at least we have the Jackie Robinson Rotunda. Sports don't get any better in New York. The Knicks beat the Nets 100-86 enuf said. But it begs the question is Jason Kidd white? is Deron Williams white? what up with that.

SING BABY SING

Who ever let these guys go into a studio and record Christmas songs, Elton John, Kenny G and Clay Aiken. These three make the gay community want to go straight. Is there anything worse than Kenny G playing Christmas carols on a Soprano Saxophone, OMG sounds like fingernails scratching on a black board.And What is Clay Aikens claim to fame? singing show tunes wearing a pink thong, and what can you say about Sir Elton that hasn't been said, oh yeah I know HE BLOWS oh yeah I forgot he really does BLOW ( Get it ). Sir Elton makes Johnny Mathis look like the fucking hulk. Lets move onto rock n roll guys singing carols. I can't speak for Jesus but he would be offended listening to Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band singing Christmas Carols. What does the E mean? Because if it means E for enema than give me a high colonic now. Oh it gets worse, Barbara Streisand, Papa can you hear me? yeah now shut the fuck up you annoying yenta. Stick with songs like Yentl and leave the carols to Bing Crosby. By the way how about that Chanukah song by Adam Sandler doesn't it want you to blow out the lights on the Menorah . Lets move onto country singers, Faith Hill nice on the eyes but hard on the ears. She couldn't carry a tune in a fuckin wheel barrel. What is worse than Faith Hill is a duet with her husband that other shit kicker Tim McGraw. Thank god Johnny Cash is dead because he is killing me when he sings with June Carter Cash. Could somebody kill me with an assualt rifle before they are banned because listening to Elvis or The Jackson Five is more than I can bare. And last but not least what Italian thinks Dominick the Donkey is a Christmas classic. Whatsa Matta you can't find any Frank Sinatra in the bargain bins.So if it ain't Burl Ives, Perry Como, Bing Crosby or Ol Blue Eyes then just get the fuck out.

FOOTBALL NEWS

The J-E-T-S were eliminated from the playoffs again. I know four people that should be eliminated from The Jet organization, Rex ( Lap Band ) Ryan, Mike ( Parcells Butt Boy ) Tannenbaum, Tony ( Sunglasses ) Sporano and Mark ( 5 Yarder ) Sanchez. Christ Almighty what did they ever see in this fucking pant load. Nice fumble to end the game, unfortunately it went to the wrong team. Hey Rex I thought this was the best team you ever fielded. Wow if thats the best I hate to see what you consider the worst team. You played one of the worst teams last night and couldn't beat them and the week before barely beat the absolute worst team in football. You suck big hairy balls, so just get the fuck out and take Sanchez the fucking lettuce head with you. The only ground and pound I want to see is you getting grounded and pounded by a 10 ton mack truck or Braylon Edwards pounding you in the locker room. Please end the misery at MetLifeless Stadium, who the fuck will even show up Sunday to watch them play the Chargers. Are there that many homeless people in new jersey? Give your tickets away to the homeless so they have a place to take a shit. That fucking stadium should be empty to send a clear message to the owner that his team SUCKS. I thought things were going to get better when Fireman Douchebag Ed stepped down as the unofficial mascot, well at least that seat is empty just like his head.Talk about suck the Giants aint gonna make it either so those fans shouldn't get to excited about their chances. The Giants play the Murderers at Blood Bath Stadium. Is there any place worse than Baltimore? Yeah, Hell. Check out the fans attending this game, women wearing shirts that say " I'm with stupid" men wearing shirts that say " I'm with stupid" and their kids wearing shirts that say ": I am stupid". The only thing good about Maryland is the the sign that says " You are now leaving Maryland". How about that Inner Harbor area, now thats a happening place isn't it. How enthralling sitting in a dirty restaurant eating crab cakes while the smell of the harbor permeates the air. You take your life in your hands walking around looking at quaint rip off shops. Maybe the Marlyand State Troopers should patrol that area instead of pulling over people from out of state for doing 56 in a 55 zone. Maryland my Maryland YOU EAT IT

121212 ROCKERS

I flipped on the tube last night and to my surprise there was Mick Jagger singing and running back and forth across the stage like a mental person. Surprised? I was shocked I thought he died in the 90's. I never get tired of listening to Brown Sugar, how about you. The two left douchebags from Jersey, no not Jon Corzine and Bob Melendez but Springsteen and Bon Jovi tried like hell to sing and dance without falling off the stage... What the fuck is a Bon Jovi? Whats his real name Smeckel Leiberman. All the money for this 121212 concert will go to the victims of Sandy. I BET, I also have a bridge in Brooklyn I'm selling. Who the fuck is watching over all this cash? and who do they know who qualifies to get it? I understand the person controlling the funds is Houdini and helen keller ( Get It ). But it was a nice idea to get a bunch of old fucking rockers like Springsteen, Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, Jagger and others to screw hard working people out of their money. Whatsa Matta Roy Orbinson was booked, Oh yeah he's dead. So I guess that sucking sound wasn't Eric Clayton but the cash being hauled away....... The Nets broke their 5 gasme losing streak, enuf said. Delta Airlines said it expects its profit to take off. I suggest you sell now. Mortgage requests are up for the 5th straight month. Denials are also up for the 5th straight month, go figure. Hey all you yuppie douche Honda drivers they are recalling 871,000 of their plastic shit cans for a roll away risk. Don't the japs understand what the "P" means. Can you say SAYONARA

THIS IS JUST SOO CRAZY

If you are going to a mall in Oregon to shoot people why the fuck are you wearing a fuckin hockey mask if in the end you kill yourself. That was one conflicted sick individual. Whatsa Matta cammouflage pants were not on sale at Bob's so you decided to end it all you fucking waste of life. This pant load fired a fusillade of bullets and killed two people, thank god this asshole could not shoot straight. We are all glad that you just got the fuck out. Does anybody know where you can launder drug money? Oh never mind HSBC just got fined 1.9 Billion yes thats with a B for laundering hundreds of millions of dollars in illicit drug profits. Did they think they were dealing with Eli Lilly.Did the duffle bags of cash with white powder on them did'nt raise a red flag?? are you fucking kidding me???? Delta Airlines pruchased a 49% share of Virgin Atlantic for 360 mil. Not bad since Singapore Airlines bought the same share in 2000 for 967 mil. Somebody got fucked on this deal and isn't a Virgin anymore. Exports declined 3.6%, the biggest drop since 2009. I guess nobody is buying the overpriced crap we sell overseas. Don't worry 4 more years of Obama and our exports will decline by 96.4%. ( You figure it out ). The average rent for an apartment in Brooklyn is 2,698 dollars. This apartment is two feet off the BQE with scenic views of bumper to bumper traffic and the aroma of diesel fumes from passing tractor trailers. There is no charge for the constant beeping of horns and the sound of breaking axles in 5 feet deep potholes. Rent does not cover doctor bills for asthma. Hurry at this price they won't last. In the battle of New York basketball the Knicks beat the Nets last, enuf said. Van Gundy said he likes the way the Knicks look. Who gives a shit what he thinks

NEW YORK SPORTS

Why are the N Y Mets dicking around with R A Dickey? If it wasn't for him they would have lost 160 games. If you could pay the rapist ( you know who that is ) millions why not give this guy a few shekels ( a term Wilpon would understand ) but unfortunately his stupid son couldn't spell. So Fred convert the shekel to the dollars and pay this guy who is a Cy Young winner. You gave David Wright a multi million dollar deal and he can't hit the ball over the second base bag. Ask your buddy Madoff where in West Palm your money was buried. I guess the Met organization has conceded the World Series to Toronto because the Blue Jays snatched up any decent player that was available.We will exclude Jose Reyes becasuse he sucks and will pull a hammy the first month into the season. Johan Santana is on the ballot for the Daily News Person of Year. Somebody has got to be fucking kidding me. How about that Mark Sanchez, what an arm. This guy has got some arm handing the ball off, as far as passing goes FUHGETABOUTIT. Here is my suggestion let this guy watch clips of Eli Manning. Lock this stupid ass in a room until he understands the concept of a passing game. Hey Woody, do you have under performing workers at SE Johnson? Why do you except an overpaid underperforming quarterback in your organization. What did you guys see in this pant load. He can't pass, and he is flat footed. That combined with being stupid makes him one of the worse quarterbacks in the league. The Jets had a tough time beating one of the worse teams in football. This guy has more turnovers than the Pillsbury doughboy. Mark just get the fuck out and take Tebow with you. It must be tough having the smallest penis in the locker room. How about them Giants. Eli threw more touchdown passes than NASA, enuf said. Do the Rangers play tonight? Oh, I forgot the players union thought they were going to fuck over the owners. Guess what, thats not working out to good for you guys. I have a question, are you eligible for unemployment benefits.

MORE SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

China, no not the stuff we eat off of, but China where trillions of people live in mud huts held their largest Air Force drills. Witnesses said that the pilots had to sit on the Bei Jing Yellow Pages to see out of the cockpit window. The Jets looked something like we had back in 1969 or leftover from the Vietnam War. If I were Japan I would be shitting a brick because China is looking to pay them back for the murderous rampages of the 30's and 40'. Somebody better teach the Japs how to say " I Surrender" in Madarin and Cantonese.... Zsa Zsa Gabor was hospitalized, wow thats good news because I thought she was dead.. Sorry Darling. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse rumor has it Michelle Obama may run for a Senate seat in Chicago and Mayor Dumbberg wants Hilary Clinton to run for Mayor of New York. Why won't these people just get the fuck out. The Jets are 2 1/2 points favorites over Jacksonville. Wow thats a toughy because the score should be 3-2 whoever got the safety loses so you pick em. Hey does anybody know what time the NY Rangers play tonight. Oh yeah thats right the players union thought they were going to fuck over the owners. How's that working out for ya. Knicks won last night and the only black man that could afford a ticket ( Spike Lee ) was thrilled. The white folks were overheard saying these guys can sure run up and done the court. David Wright just signed a multi year multi million dollar contract. He wants to know if there are any gay bars that he may have missed. Whats a Matta you thought he liked broads.

PEARL HARBOR DAY

Do you know what today is? For all those too fuckin stupid or just to young this is the day the Japs did their sneak attack on Pearl Harbor slaughtering almost 3,000 Americans. Doesn't that make you feel good when your driving around in your rice mobile Honda, Toyota or some other jap shitbox. Just to prove there is a GOD, Japan was rocked with a 7.2 magnitude earthquake today. The bad news, everybody wasn't killed. Yup these are the same bunch that not only brought us Pearl Harbor but how about the Bataan Death March. Not aware of Bataan? read a fuckin history book and learn, just don't read the book while driving in your rice rocket. Well if any good came out of this at least we annihilated millions of people who had the balls to fuck with us first. Think i'm too harsh?the fuck i'm not... excuse me but FDR said " This is a day that will live in infamy"FUCKINNNNNNNNN BONSAI"..... While we are on the subject of losers, Stephen Baldwin the loser brother of the biggest loser Alec Baldwin was arrested for failing to file his tax returns for the last 4 years and to pay 350,000 dollars in state tax.I had no idea the baldwins had a special pass to do that... are you fuckin kidding me???? Doesn't N Y State know his mother is a breast cancer survivor. Can they do that to him? You bet your ass they can. How many losers did their mother raise?......... Demi Moore tried to get the sausage of Lenny Kravitz at a Miami nightclub. Lenny was overheard saying I wouldn't fuck her with Bruce Willis' dick. Did you hear about this 12/12/12 Concert? Every old wrinkled washed up rocker will be appearing to raise money for the victims of hurricane Sandy. I understand bleacher seats are going for 60 grand on Stub Hub. Really? To see Billy Joel? or worse than that Bruce Springsteen? makes me wish I was washed out to sea by Sandy while Paul McCartney was singing "HELP". I have one last question. Can someone tell me what illegal immigrant means? For what i understand it means you are here illegally so get the fuck out.

NEWS OF THE DAY

Do you know the difference between a serial killer and a cereal killer. A serial killer is a person who kills more than one person as the case with the man arrested yesterday in New Rochelle. This guy has been stabbing woman to death since 1993 has served time and is free to walk the streets. Great judicial system we have. A cereal killer is someone who eats an entire box of cereal and leaves a spoonful in the bottom of the box just to piss you off. Just as the case with the serial killer he is free to walk the streets. Has anybody heard of this new show Amish Mafia. OOOH im shaking in my boots, whats next Dwarf Mob Wars enough already or do you want to wind up in the trunk of a horse and buggy. Do I have to make you offer you can't refuse in Mennonite, Aren't these the same people who make those crappy looking fireplaces in Lancaster, PA.... The tallest woman in the world died at age 40, she may have been tall but lived a short life. Could somebody let me know when the shortest woman dies I am keeping records. Citgroup is slashing 11,000 jobs, did Obama hear about this? I guess they aren't union jobs. 11,000 Jobs? that will leave at least 1 teller at every branch. Thats the pay back after the government gives you a 45 billion dollar bailout. Starbucks plans on opening 3,000 new shops in the next five years. So instead of two starbucks on every block there will now be three. I guess the yuppie douchebags can't get enough of this crap. Talking about oil it is down to 87.90 a barrel so why is gas 3.85 a gallon? I have to explain. Pizza Wars? You bet, Grimaldis in Brooklyn alledges that Juliana's next door to Grimaldis has illegally installed a coal fired brick oven. I hope Juliana's also installed bullet proof glass in their store front. Fuhgetaboutit. If you can get past the smell of Drakkar the pizza is great, can't you can tell by all the Caddy CTS's parked out front.

THIS IS A BIT UGLY PEOPLE

The rich white plantation owner of the Jets wants McElroy to be the starting quarterback. I thought he paid millions for a quarterback he wanted in his stable by the name of Mark Sanchez. Then he set his sites on Tim Tebow. It turns out Sanchez wasn't really a quarterback he was just another kid that played football on a college level, you know similiar to playing with your cousins in the backyard. Tebow turned out to be even worse. Its just goes to prove college football is just one year better than high school sports. Hey Woody, why don't you call RG3, at least you would have a black quarterback on the plantation, oops I mean team...... Well all those steroids and viagra have Arod falling apart, like a fucking tunnel in Tokyo. The Yanks are shopping for a third baseman so they are looking at a guy that is so old he farts mummy dust, yup Kevin Youkilis the guy who looks like he sits on an upside down bar stool at the ram rod ( You get the picture )..... I guess we now find out what everybody else knew, that Jevon Belcher was a fucking head case that owned 8 fuckin guns. He was pissed because his baby momma was stepping out meanwhile this guy had girlfreiends all over the place. Im shocked aren't you? Just another thug playing football. I have a new commercial for the NFL. "FOOTBALL THE SPORT OF THUGS". Maybe you can get Hank Williams Jr. to write a jingle. Somebody better tell Ray Lewis's girlfriends to watch out,she could be next.... Have you heard the good news? Justin Volpe who sodomized Abner Louima with a broomstick got married in a Florida Prison. We understand the Bride is into broom handles. I guess there are more wack jobs out there than I thought. The father of the bride must be delighted omgggggg......Just a reminder, The Fuhrer starts his second term in January. This douche is already holding secret meetings at the White House with none other than Al "Trash Bag Tawana Brawley" Sharpton. God Don't Bless America, GOD HELP AMERICA. Whatsa Matta you thought four more years of this guy was a good idea.

TODAYS NEWS

A Georgia woman claims she found a nose ring in her 4 year olds McDoanlds Burrito. Whats next at Mickey D'S, butt plugs in the chicken ceasar salad??? A dead man was found wrapped in a blanket on a Brooklyn street. The victim was beaten to death and then wrapped in a camouflage blanket. I have a question? If he was in a camouflage blanket how did they find this poor bastard???. Former Gov and thief Jon Corzine was spotted in the Hamptons this weekend carrying the 40 billion he stole from MF Global. He was asking a flowerpot if it knew who he was and if the flowerpot could hold onto a suitcase that belongs to him.thank god the flowerpot had no comment. Concrete panels fell from the roof of a Tokyo Tunnel and only 7 people were killed? What up with that. The Duchess of Cambridge or Kate as she is known to the peasants is pregnant and is rumored to have really bad morning sickness. Doctors say this only occurs when she rolls over and sees Prince William next to her. Pip Pip and Cheerio. it took a major storm to boost car sales, Sales were up for Ford, GM and Chrysler, but the yuppie scum are still buying the jap cars. These lefty douches pushed sales up 39% at Honda. I still don't understand what people see in a plastic water bottle with wheels Whatsa matta you cheap shits can't afford any other thing with wheels.........cmonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

DUMB AND DUMBER

Did anybody catch Dumb & Dumber at "MetLifeless Stadium"? No, not the movie, Tebow & Sanchez. There hasn't been 2 more worthless quarterbacks since Bubby Brister & Boomer Esiason or Al Dorow & Butch Songin.For those who have not been a jet fan for as long as i have those 2 beauties played for the jets in the 60's anyway Need I say more. Rex had to call on a third string first time starter, no not Fireman Ed but Greg McElroy so we could score a fucking touchdown. It's time for broken ribs Tebow and lettuce head Sanchez to just get the fuck out. Maybe Sanchez can start throwing the ball to his own players or they could paint a fucking bulls eyes on the Jet jerseys. The J-E-T-S are now tied for last place. with 1 team already clinching a playoff spot and 3 teams clinching their divisions. So the Jets barely beat a team that hasn't won a game since FDR was president. The Cardinals have had more quarterbacks then a slot machine in Atlantic City. If you want to watch paint dry next week catch the Jets at Jacksonville, the score should be 3-2 you pick the team with the safety and that leaves you the team that wins. They can't give away the tickets for this game, so lets see home many homeless they can get to come watch this game, since it is Jacksonville it should be standing room only. Well there is always good news, the Jets won their first game without Fireman Ed as the unofficial asshole, oops I mean mascot..... Have you heard about the black gang roaming Madison Square Garden. I understand they dress in Knick uniforms flashing gun signals and are heavily tatted. Rasheed Wallace must have had a hot date with a white chick because he got ejected 85 seconds into the game. One of his girlfriends said he usually ejects in 60 seconds ( you figure it out ) The rich white folk can't get enough of this team. I leave you with this thought, If I had to play for the Chiefs and Romeo Crennel I don't think I would kill myself i might have just blownup the complex. and Where did he get the gun? I know Ray Lewis aint on the team.all joking aside this is a terrible thing that happened and once again its another young athlete who looses his fucking mind while playing a kids game i just don't get it... Whatsa Matta your a Chiefs fan

SEE YA LATER ED

Have you heard the great news? The second biggest douchebag on the planet right behind Alec Baldwin has retired, Fireman Ed the unofficial mascot of the J-E-T-S has called it quits. Hey Ed,do me a favor and get another fucking hat to wear.another guy with his 15 mins of fame that thinks he is a fuckin celebrity, So after fucking the city of New York putting out trash can fires for a living you now are finally done sucking off the teet of the N Y Jets. Here is some news, you were never relevant. Its was just your circle of jerks that thought you were the mascot of the J-E-T-S. I personally just thought you were a fuckin pantload looking for a freebie. ( typical city employee ). By the way nice fucking hat. You should have been fired for stealing a fire hat and then painting it in the gangrene colors ( spelled correctly ) When you leave please take the fucking seat you were sitting in and burn the fucking thing please. Maybe you and Woody can blow each other in the parking lot. If your blowing Woody I'm sure it will be in the V.I. P. Parking lot, but it will cost you 25.00 bucks to park in that shithole we call metlife stadium It will be a pleasure to go to a game and not see you sitting on somebodys shoulder screaming J-E-T-S. Do you know what J-E-T-S stands for JUST EXIT THE SCENE. Woody Johnson is now looking for a new mascot. Will it be a can of pledge wearing a Jet cap, or how about a picture of Fireman Eds ass painted green ( could be copywright infringeent ). I got a new gig for Fireman Ed. He can now go to the Giant homes games dressed as a Giant Douche only problem he doesn't know how to spell G-I-A-N-T-S.

I'M BACK BABY

I discovered the reason why the suicide rate skyrockets around Christmas time.Why you ask? because People are listening to Michael Buble and Bruce Springsteen sing Christmas carols.My head is ready to explode........... I found myself tying a noose around my pet turtle until I was snapped out of it by Bing Crosby singing White Christmas. Now Im wishing those two guys would walk infront of a fucking bazooka. Well atleast the black folk still have black Friday.Is that politically correct??? i don t fuckin think so..... Talk about suicide The Mets offered David ( Pantload ) Wright 18 mil a year for seven years. I think he will be 50 when his contract is up..... are you kidding me... Did you hear there were no shootings, stabbings or slashings in New York, that doesn't mean there wasn't any murder. How about stranglings or poisonings? how about drowning in a bath tub? Come on you gotta give me something. If you were tickled inappropriately by Elmo get it off your fuckin chest now. This guy was touching more people than Hallmark. The Chi-coms keep snapping up those 1phones, Apple now controls 48.1 % of the market. They light the tree at Rockefeller Center tonight, don't watch because there will be appearances by Trace Adkins, Who? yeah this is the big stupid looking country singer who thinks he can sing, Mariah Carey, yeah the one who can break glass with her high pitched screech when she is getting dicked by Nick Cannon. Oh it gets worse Al ( I like white woman ) Roker and the aging rocker Rod Stewart. Whatsa Matta they lost Dean Martins phone number, oh yeah he's dead, lucky for him. I hope when they throw the switch that tree goes up like a Bangladesh warehouse. Fuhgetaboutit

BLACK FRIDAY

Did you know that Blacks get there own shopping day? All fucking day I keep hearing about Black Friday, what up with that. Can white people shop that day? Will the stores have any Air Jordans left by the time I get there....???But seriously Why do they call it black friday?is it because every loon is out at 3am looking to save 4 bucks on a coach bag???? wtf am i misssing here....do people understand all these stores do is bump the price up then show you a bigger discount so you are really paying the same amount you would normally pay but trick you into thinking you got such a great buy...bunch of scumbags once again leading the consumer in thinking that they saved a few bucks while waiting on line with every other tom,dick and harry.... The unions put another 18,000 workers on the unemployment line. The bakers at Hostess refused to negotiate with the company and were warned that if cuts weren't made they would close. What didn't the union understand? The cut part or the close part. So now another company will be shuttered and a foreign outfit from Mexico ( Bimbo Bakeries )serious, that is the name will take over the brand name. Guess what? I bet there not union at Bimbo in Mexico. This outfit already owns Sara Lee and Entenmanns. Thank God the Japs aren't into bakeries. I guess the drug cartels will have another way to smuggle drugs into this country, via Twinkie and Devil Dogs. No mas la panaderia left in the U.S. So los submarinos will be made in Mexico, Que Pasa. Well The Jets and Mark Sanchez beat the Rams but then again who hasn't beaten the Rams, enuf said. The Giants had a bye week so Eli spent the day trying to throw a pass into the end zone. I was told he was intercepted by the ball boy. Met tickets go on sales this week. Anyone purchasing more than 1 game will be allowed to take a picture with Jackie Robinson in his Rotunda. Hey Fred you stupid fuck have you seen the players Toronto signed? and they get fewer fans than you do. Fuhgetaboutit

THE JETS

Woody Johnson, no not the dummy from Toy Story but the dummy owner of the Jets says he didn't sign up for a 3-6 season so far. Well guess what, never did the fucking fans you dipshit. Is there a dumber fuck on the planet? I will answer that, yeah Fred Wilpon. He is also upset over the media perception of Tim Tebow. Why because Tebow sucks? or is it because now we have two loser quarterbacks to go with his loser offensive coordinator. No pun intended but I find this whole thing "offensive". It won't be long until the sound of crashing helmets and vicious blocks are replaced by the sound of crickets. No not the game cricket which we have no clue wtf they actually do to play this game,but the insect. So I guess it won't be long until Rex Ryan and Mike Tannenbaum join the list of those unemployed. I can't wait till they are told to get the fuck out and take that Stevie Wonder offensive coordinator with you. Do you know what Rex Ryans biggest mistake was? thinking he could be a head coach and no less a head coach in New York. Could somebody please call Bill Parcells I am now begging you I will even except Gruden and if not him my last choice would be John Madden. No im not fucking kidding. Hey Woody, it's time to get rid of that hat you found in the desk of Leon Hess. The 60's's were 50 years ago you schmuck. Leon Hess is in the New Jersey Hall of Fame a place Woody Johnson will never be unless he visits. Oh by the way the Jets will lose this Sunday they are playing the Rams in St. Louis. Do you know who the offensive coordinator is ? Thats right, Brian Schottenheimer, remember him? Rams 24 Jets SUCK. While we are on the subject of losers how about The Lakers hiring MIke D'Antoni as their head coach. It won't be long before Kobe is bitch slapping this guy in the locker room. I hope the Laker fans are ready for a losing season. R A Dicket won the NL Cy Yound Award by winning 20 games with a team that only won 40 games or there abouts. Next year he will lose 20 games but be a lot richer. enuf said

CAN YOU BELIEVE

The Marlins said adios to hamstring boy Jose Reyes. They realized real quick that they were not going to win a World Series with this pant load and the latino fans in Miami got tired real fast of his bullshit. so it's no mas for Jose. Playing in Toronto should get him a lot of name recognition, are there alot of Latinos in Toronto? I will answer that, NO FUCKIN WAY there is only 2.3 % of latinos that live in Toronto and they say its so cold they can never get their cars started and that 2.3% say they never heard of Jose Reyes.so say no way jose.... The New Marlins Park will now be converted into a cuban refugee camp since no fans will show up for any games and the cubita is free. Talk about suck, how about them Jets. The Jet players tell the Daily News that Tebow is terrible. What a shock, I didn't know that did you? Obviously if the players know it and the fans know why doesn't Rex Ryan know it. Has anybody asked Phil Simms if he would like to make a come back or how about a gay quarterback does Troy Aikman wanna play.... at this point we will take anybody who can the throw the fucking ball to the right color jersey..... The Knicks are 5-0 the best start in 19 years, when they asked Carmelo why they are off to such a great start he said the other teams can't stop looking at our tats .Did you know Robbie Cano just became an American citizen? WTF aren't you suppose to be an American citizen to work here? Did anybody check his green card? Just asking. Johan Santana was handing out lunches in Staten Island to those affected by Hurricane Sandy. I guess he was loooking for an attractive woman he could take advantage of, was he wearing pants when he was handing out the lunches. Hey Johan just get the fuck out. Could somebody teach Eli Manning how to throw a touchdown pass and not to the opposing team

O WELLLLLLLLLLLLL

Did Obama really win re-election, No Way. I knew America has some stupid people living in it I just didn't realize how many. I knew 39% of wommen who thought abortion was the key issue were going to vote for him, I knew 98 % of the black population would vote for him, this is why the election should be held early in the morning ( you'll figure it out ) but how did so many hillbillys get their cars started to make it to the polling place. That leaves the brain dead youth vote to Obama, these assholes actually think he is doing a good job. Well at least he has a job, maybe thats why they admire him or was it the promise of free health care or maybe they were impressed with the 16 trillion debt because they can't count that high. So you think the last 4 years weren't so bad, wait you aint seen nothing yet.... Major Harris of the Delphonics died at the at of 65. His 1975 hit was " Love won't let me wait" well guess what, neither will death. Who were the Delphonics you ask? I don't have a fucking clue. Paul McCartney and his hideous wife Nacy Shevell, who is just as hideous as her father who owns New England Motor Freight was in a near miss helicopter crash. The operative word is "miss" please let me know next time when the word miss is taken out of the headline. Okay all you yuppie douches Apple is testing production of an Iphone5S I understand the S stands for shit. This phone will actually be almost as good as the Sumsung Galaxy S111. The key word here is almost. The Chi-coms are hoping this phone will go into production shortly. When the Chi-com authorities were asked why, they simply replied we hate the Koreans

J E T S OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The Jets got beat worse than LIPA in a tropical storm. It's time for the fat mans show to move on. Whose decision was it to hire Tony ( i am blind as a fuck ) Sparano. He looks like hellen keller carrying a clipboard but can't read the fucking game plan. Another great idea to bring on Tim ( like a virgin ) Tebow. This circus with Sanchez and Tebow has got to come to an end. Has anybody in football ever seen such insanity?. One quarterback can't throw and really sucks and one just sucks, you figure out who is who. Rex has said "this is the best team he has ever coached", wow I hate to see what the worst one was. How come we never get a shot at the good quarterbacks? We always get the broken down retreads like Favre or we get the fuckin lettuce head that can't throw the ball more than 5 yards. Hey Woody do you have any idea what the fuck is going on with your team. Stop huffing Pledge and wake up before MetLife Stadium starts to look like Citifield, empty except on gay pride night when admission is free. Its appears to me that the warden can't get the inmates to produce. Is this anyway to run an organized prison? The receivers for the Jets can't catch a football when its thrown right at them maybe they would be better off in wood shop class. Only problem you can't make millions making shanks. Hey Rex why not tell your players to spend more time on the practice field instead of in the fucking tattoo parlor. Mark Sanchez can't quarterback and Tim Tebow ain't the solution. So here is my suggestion, ask Joe Theisman if he can quarterback after he does his prostrate commercials. Just get the fuck out and take the hook nosed bird face looking Fiireman Ed with you and every fan that wears a helmet in the shape of a Jet. What a bunch of fucking maniacs. Whatsa matta you din't know I was a Jet fan. Go Broncos????????

GOTTA LOVE THIS SHIT

Taylor Swift broke up with her Kennedy boy toy. When she was asked why Swift replied, " He would rather play with X Box then my box". Can't wait to hear her next song. The Mets finally got rid of Jason Bay, not bad being unemployed and collecting 21 mil. This guy made Mo Vaughn look like Babe fuckin Ruth. Jason just get the fuck out and don't let the clubhouse door hit you in the ass on the way out. How about them Nets, they were involved in another close game last night, they lost 103 - 73. Does anybody know if they covered the point spread. When Deron Williams was asked why they lost he replied " We Suck ". Pete Carroll will meet his old college quarterback this weekend when they play the Jets. This time Carroll's Seahawks will beat Sanchez and his Jets by 6 1/2 points so say the odds makers. When Rex Ryan was asked about Sanchez he simply replied, " He throws the best 5 yard pass i have ever seen" I didn't think this country had 60,484,369 assholes, I was obviously wrong so it's4 more years of looking at Michelle Obama and her Jay Leno chin, in other news Gov Chris Christie had surgery to remove his head from the ass of Barack Obama. The surgery was successful but it did not to help elect Mitt Romney. Well here is some good news, a deadly quake hit Guatemala 39 people were killed, well thats 39 that won't be coming here illegally.Obama was saddened by the news because he lost 39 potential votes. Here is some bad news for you yuppie douches Apple stock is down 20%, how do you think Steve Jobs feels about that, Oh yeah he's dead. Not to worry the market was only down 313 points yesterday by the end of Obamas second term there won't be any points left. ( Get It ). Whatsa Matta you thought the American people were smart. FUHGETABOUTIT

WELL WELCOME TO ANOTHER 4 YEARS

I woke up this morning to find out that Dewey beat Truman, so where's my government cheese. I knew Romney didn't stand a chance when Wisconsin was called for Obama. You know who is from Wisconsin? Yup, Paul Ryan. This fucking dope couldn't even help Romney take his home state. As stupid as Biden is at least he carried Delaware. So here comes 4 more years of misery when we could have had 4 mores of misery. So it's free health care, unlimited un-employment coverage, 16 trillion in debt, plenty of government cheese and people think this country is headed in the right direction. Trust me it won't be long till we see bumper stickersthat read " I didn't vote for Obama" I guess the 39% of women who thought abortion was the key issue pushed Obama over the finish line. To sum it up Romney carried every state that didn't matter. Linda McMahon was wrestled to the ground in CT. She got beat worse than the Undertaker. Linda after you spent 100 mil it's time to just get the fuck out and take that steroid injected husband with you. The Republicans lost more ground than the Germans at Stalingrad, enuf said. Do the Rangers play tonight? If anybody can guess how bad the Jets get beat by the Seahawks Sunday you can win a dinner for two with Fireman Ed. Pretty sad when when Seattle is 7 point favorites. Yeah Rex, your doing a great job

ELECTION DAY

Well it all comes down to this, are you voting for the Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich. I will let you decide who is who but the Turd Sandwich was in Madison Wi. yesterday hugging Bruce Springsteen. ( you figure it out ). So you can vote on four more years of misery or 4 more years of misery,I dont think it matters who the fuck gets in. 9 states will decide this election and to be honest these nine states shouldn't be considered part of the United States. Two are out west, Nevada and Colorado,there are more mexicans in these two fuckin states than they have in Mexico. Then we have Ohio, Wisconsin and Iowa. If 47 other states got wiped out you still wouldn't want to live in these shithole states. That leaves Pennsylvania, Virginia and North Carolina, let me sum it up by saying we are doomed. If the people who live in these three states can get their cars off the cinder blocks Obama is a shoe in. Hey were do I get my free government cheese. GM got an 11 billion dollar revolving line of credit, this is the same company that makes that hideous Malibu and Cruze and lets not forget the Duracell battery with 4 wheels the Volt. Did the companies that gave them an 11 billion credit ever drive in one of their cars? I wouldn't lend them 5 cents. Suzuki Motors filed for bankruptcy unfortunately 10 years to late. Do you know anybody who drives a Suzuki? for that matter do you anybody who drives a Volt? Keep it up GM and you won't be far behind. Are Black people allowed at the Barclay Center besides the players. The Nets lost their opener and trust me there will be many many more loses. I thought the brothers loved basketball? if so none were in the seats. Don't the Nets have their version of Spike Lee. It was a close game the T-Wolves 107 the Nets SUCK. Where is my government cheese?

AFTERMATH

Could somebody just get this congressman Tim Bishop off the T.V., what a fucking douchebag. This guy is a bigger camera hog than Chuck ( The Smuck ) Schumer. Look out when this putz comes to your neighborhood, make sure your wallet is safely secured. While we are on the subject of douchebags I didn't think there was a bigger one than Alex Baldwin, guess what? I found one, Mayor Michael Bloomberg. People are suffering in Manhattan and the outer boroughs and this shit head gave the okay for the NYC Marathon. Are you fucking kidding me. What this little midget wouldn't do to satisfy the yuppie scum . He said he would be good for business, What? If your a business without power what fucking good are these pantloads running through your neighborhood going to do for you. Well they start at the Verrazano Bridge what a wonderful time for a bridge collapse. There is racing at Aqueduct, yeah I now unbelieveable I guess Andrew Cuomo has to make his mortgage payment. Just pick the horse that likes to race knee deep in mud and you got the winner or you can always ask Vito or Tony ( get the point ) . Tim Tebow is dating a girl? Yup Camilla Belle. Does she have a penis? just asking. All the lefties are throwing a benefit to raise money for Hurricane Sandy victims. How much do you think actually will go towards that. The Boss, Bon Jovi, Billy ( the Hole ) Joel, Christina ( the Midget ) Aquilera. What a shock it will be broadcast on all NBC affiliates. Make sure Bruce goes on early so he doesn't miss his bedtime and anyone who thinks Bon Jovi can sing must be tone deaf. Billy Joel wants to appear because everybody thinks he is dead. The event is being hosted by two real no talent smucks Jimmy ( Unfunny ) Fallon and lefty leaning Brian Williams who will be wearing his " Obama 12" button

ON A LIGHT NOTE .....

The basketball season begins and thats good news because the crime rate will drop in every city with a basketball francise except for Charlotte. Has anybody been to Charlotte, N.C.? what a fucking shit hole. This place makes Arkansas look like the French Riviera. The Nets will open at their new arena the "Gustapo Center" in Brooklyn. By the way who gave Deron Wlliams of the Nets his haircut? Charles Manson and what kind of name is Deron. The Nets were suppose to open against the Knicks tonight but Carmelo Anthony postponed the game because he is getting another tattoo. No biggie because the Knicks suck and the Nets suck even more. The Knicks open against Miami on Friday at the Garden the underwater seats are going for 100 bucks. Tickets to sit next to Spike Lee are free ( nobody wants to sit next to that douche unless your Alex Baldwin ). There is no train service into Penn Station so madison square garden will be empty because Knick fans don't have cars that can make it into New York. I was looking at pictures of houses in Lindenhurst and was trying to determine if they were before the storm or after, how can you tell? I guess it was Gods way of telling you to just get the fuck out. Be careful of the towel heads price gouging at gas stations this applies to the pull and push starts. If they are simply smack them in the head with the gas nozzle as you drive over them leaving. President Obama was in New Jersey yesterday seeking votes oops I mean assessing storm damage. The only damage he should worry about is how badly he gets beaten November 6th. Hey Obama, just get the fuck out and take Michelle and the kids with you. Whatsa Matta you thought he was going to be re-elected FUHGETABOUTIT

LOOK AWAY

The most hateful religion began their Hajj. Thats right the Muslims start their 4 day Hajj. Hours before sunrise Thursday thousands of Muslims stood in the dark on a rocky desert hill preparing for prayers. Weren't there any fully loaded tanks in the area? They all took their pictures of Mohamed fucking his goat doggie style. Read this very carefully, GO FUCK YOURSELVES. How about the NYPD cop who wanted to eat 100 women, he must have some tongue, oops no he actually wanted to eat them after he cooked them in his oven. Just another unstable NYPD cop, how in the fuck do these guys pass the physc test. Better question who is giving the test. N.Y. State has collected 434 miliion in taxes from the Racino at Aqueduct, so where did all this money go? could somebody check the trunk of Andrew Cuomo's car and if it is parked in front of his fathers house then check that truck as well. Nothing like the goombas overseeing the goombas. Microsoft is launching Windows 8, did this mean the previous seven sucked. Good news the N.Y. Times stock dived 22% to 8.31 can't wait for the day that liberal rag sheet reaches a value of ZERO. I picked up my case of Dos Equs and I am all set for the Jet game Sunday. Rumor has it that Rex will implement something new. Two quarterbacks will play at the same time in hopes it will confuse the Dolphins and Firemen ED. We can only hope the hurricane hits and Fireman Ed gets stuck in his car on the Cross Island Parkway and drowns.

REALLY BRUTAL

The house the Kennedys put up for sale at 4 mil was already sold. I'm dying ( Pun Intended ) to find out who bought it. Do you think this place has any skeletons in the closet.FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YA....... It won't be long before we read that Lawrence Taylor was found stumbling around Secaucus screaming at a parking meter do you know who I am? I'm L.T. do you want to have sex with me...... Charles Wang is moving his broken down hockey team to Brooklyn to play in the new Barclay Center. This was a great franchise with 4 back to back Stanley Cups a feat never accomplished by the N Y Rangers. This douchebag buys the franchise and guess what NO STANLEY CUPS. Doesn't Wang know that his fan base don't own cars that can make it to Brooklyn and they certainly can't afford the L.I.R.R. and this being an all black neighborhood i can tell ya the blacks ain't going to no fuckin hockey games, so who the fuck is packing a piece to come to watch this fucking team. Confuscious say " He is one dumb mother fucker " Just get the fuck out and can you get out before 2015.... Francisco Rodriguez ex Met reliever was a no show for his scheduled court appearance yesterday. His lawyer explained to the judge he was too busy beating the shit out of his new girl friend and missed his flight.... Whitney Houston's ex Bobby Brown was arrested for the second time in seven months for DUI. Can't wait till I read about him driving off a cliff in Malibu. ( Are blacks allowed in Malibu? )just askin... Alicia Keys bought Eddie Murphys obnoxious looking mansion in Englewood, N.J. She bought the house for her son whose name is Egypt. How lucky is this kid she was gonna name him Dubai. Isn't it amazing how overnight new home sales are up 5.7 % and we can out produce Saudi Arabia in oil production. Whats next unemployment dropping to 0% before election day? what a crock of total shit.... Did you hear about the two tree huggers from Williamsburg Brooklyn that take used wood and turn them into tables and desks for 1,000-3,000 a pop. Just goes to show you the yuppie douches will buy anything. I am going to start selling them organic made dildos so they can go fuck themselves.

THIS AINT GONNA BE PRETTY

Eva Longoria is calling no mas with Mark Sanchez, she said no es bueno and didn't want to be associated with this loser. If thats the case then why is she on the Obama compaign. Did you know she if tress siete. Guess what? New York has the highest taxes in America. What a shocker huh. Did somebody forget El Duce son Anndrew Cuomo is running the state, what a shock another thug cooking the books. Who would have ever thunk it. Another latino is looking for work, Ozzie Guillen was fired by the Marlins. Whats a 49 year unemployed latino supposed to do with the 7.5 mil the Marlins still owe him. Isn't he the guy that loves Fidel Castro? maybe he can manage in the Cuban League, Que Pasa. Im routing for the Tigers in the World Series, the simple reason Angel Pagan, isn't he the one that had to take a shit during a Met game stating he had stomach cramps from eating Taco Bell or David Wright, it was something like that. I have a winning solution for the Jets, have Tebow and Sanchez quarterback at the same time, is that allowed? Lance Armstrong joins Alec Baldwin as the bifggest douchebag on the planet, both used cancer to advance their careers, Whatsa Matta you didn't think Lance was doping. Now for a serious issue:: A Nassau County Cop got murderded yesterday along with an innocent civilian. Where is the outrage from Al Sharpton and his Bring the Black Man Down Committee. I guess its okay when a black man shoots a cop. Who is responsible for letting this dirt bag walk the streets with his criminal background, release the name or names of those responsible. I bet you they are a bunch of liberal scumbags who thought this piece of shit could be rehabilitated. Hey Springsteen, you gonna write a song about the cop that got slaughtered yesterday You liberal scum bags make me sick. So go back to your Brownstones with your Starbucks and make sure your doors are locked because these murderous thugs will kill you without blinking an eye.

POLITICS AND SHIT

Did you know George McGovern died the other day, I was under the impression he had already been dead. I guess living in South Dakota nobody really notices if your dead or alive but trust me you are better off dead. Another 60's liberal douche bites the dust, just get the fuck out. Hey, the Kennedy house in Westchester is for sale, this dump is going for almost 4 mil I bet Taylor Swift buys it. I hope we don't find her hanging in the garage. Naturally it is an eco - friendly house. That's right more liberal douches with an eco-friendly house. With the term eco-friendly i vision people taking a shit in a bucket and them using it as fertilizer. I hear the house comes equipped with a noose.Is that bad to say? just sayin.... What about that debate last night, is it me? or did it look like Obama has no fucking clue. 39% of woman who believe abortion is the number one issue facing them will vote for this liberal douche. I'm hoping the remaining 61% will just stay the fuck home and start cooking dinner..... Guess who aint gonna play in the World Series, thats right Carlos ( Bum Knees ) Beltran and how about Matt Holiday doing his impression of Arod, I thought he nailed it. Only difference he wasn't trying to score with the female fans or at least i think he wasn't. Win 2 tickets to game 7 of the World Series if you correctly guess the next black man Kim Kardashian will do anal with and make a another sex tape with, I hate that fuckin no talent big fat ass clueless fucker. Stock Market is down 232 points on more good fiscal news. Should I keep my McCain bumper sticker?

THE YANKEES AND OTHER SHIT

Well I said tubby wouldn't make it out of the 5th innning, this fat bastard with his balloon pants couldn't make it out of the 4th. Hey CC grab a salad at Subway and stay away from the footlongs. The Yankees are blaming the fans for their pathetic performance. I didn't know the fans were allowed to bat. The only time Arod can get to first base is when he scores a broad in the stands at the game, just get the fuck out. Another typical pantload is Beltran , his knee hurts boo hoo what a douchebag but at least he's a douche with the Cards and not the Mets. What a shocker another latino with bad legs. Que Pasa? If there is a God the Giants will win. At least if it's a Detroit - San Francisco series one stadium will have some gay fans, not that theres anything wrong with that. By the way what a great name for a relief pitcher, COKE maybe CC should have had some fuckin coke. Would you believe 39% of woman in the year 2012 think abortion is still the most important issue. I am still in utter dis-belief. Now let's get on the subject of a real scumbag, yes it's Bruce Springsteen. He is in Ohio campaigning for, you guessed it OBAMA. What a surprise this lefty douchebag is voting for a lefty douchebag. It gets even worse the fat bastard from Jersey has a book coming out called BRUCE, how creative. Who the fuck wants to read about his life story. This dick head never had a #1 hit, end of the book. I can write a short story on this guy in two words, YOU SUCK. I just sent in my ,1000th mail in vote for Romney. Whatsa Matta you didn't think you could rig an election, just ask Joe Kennedy oops he's fucking dead.

PERCENTAGES ......BEWARE THIS IS UGLY

39% of woman polled say abortion is the most important issue facing them. I am still in fucking disbelief. 61% of the remaning woman want to have sex with Obama. 38% of men are concerned about the economy and 10% are concerned about health care because they can't pay for the girls abortion. 18% of women are concerned with health care because their boyfriend can't afford to pay for their abortion.I KNOW I SHOULD NOT SAY THIS BUT should women who are preganant with a girl should they have an abortion????(well Thats one way to cut back on woman voters )OK OK I'M KIDDING I'M KIDDING I SWEAR I AM, we need more women around trust me on that without you girls us men would be dead from fucking bordem .But I believe that the 39% of women who believe abortion is the major issue facing them should have been aborted.OK OK I'M KIDDING AGAIN I PROMISE...but let me tell you if those percetages are correct about women and abortion these ladies really need to rethink wtffff is really important because if you ask me its a womens choice to choose on what she wants to do not what the goverment says not what the church says not what anyone says other then what the woman wants its her body and she should be free to do what she wants to do but thats just me i am like every other asshole who has an opinion.enuf said. Now for the good news, in the latest Gallup Poll Romney leads Obama by 6 points, enuf said

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I thought Obama had Al Qaeda on the run? Then why was a pant load from Bangladesh trying to blow up the Federal Reserve. Did this asshole ever see the walls on this building? I guess they are not to smart in Bangladesh after all they live in mud huts and crap in the street. This dumb fuck had a four point plan ( unlike Obama who has no plan ) 1st Blast the Federal Reserve, 2nd Planned to kill the President 3rd Attack NYSE and finally Destroy America. Well three out of four wouldn't have been bad. I guess while purchasing this bomb he didn't see the FBI badge on the undercover agent, where did he think somebody was getting a 1,000 lb bomb? fucking Wal-Mart? I guess this guy wasn't attending mensa meetings. He attended Southeast Missouri State Univ. but did he actually go to any classes and obviously flunked Bomb Making 101. Can't we crank up the Enola Gay and start carpet bombing asia and the mid-east..... In a recent poll do you know what the most important issue with women voters is? ABORTION 39% say that it the most important issue REALLY? Killing embryos is their most important issue ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Could we please revoke their right to vote, these dumb bastards and while we are at it take away their right to smoke. Somebody has got to be kidding me ABORTION is there number one issue. After reading that I wish I was aborted. Here is some good news, new home sales are up 15% only problem mortgage lending is down 100%. Lets move onto MLB. Who the fuck is running this outfit a fucking rain delay with no rain. Now they postpone games due to a threat of rain? Well bad news for Yankee fans that means the team was out all night partying with the hookers in Detroit. I understand Arod had Swisher throwing out balls with his phone number all along 8 Mile. Hey, Jeter is out for 5 months, does that mean he won't be playing tonight. Arod, pack your bags your going to Miami to play for the Marlins. You and Reyes can fight over Cuban hookers. Just get the fuck out and take Swisher with you NO MAS

THINGS THAT REALLY SUCK

Here are two things that suck, The Yankees and President Obama. Let's start with the Jankees. Phil Hughes in one of the biggest games of his career, and he gets a fuckin stiff back, you have to to be fucking kidding me. Did he ever hear of Doans Back Pills or how about taking a Bayer aspirin you fucking pantload I guess he injured his back lifting to many champagne bottles after the divisional series. I didn't know the Yankees belong to a union, did you?How about Arod tossing balls into the stands with his phone number on them. Hey Arod how about trying to hit a fucking ball instead of banging some broad balls deep. How about Granderson going 0-4 last night and Joe the HIV putting Brett Gardner in the ine-up how did that work out for you Joe. Why does Swisher come out of the line up batting .250 but Teixeira stays in? I know Joe likes his hairstyle. Even better question whatta ya know Robbie Cano is batting .071 why is he still allowed on the team bus. So tonight tubby pitches, trust me he won't make it out of the 5th inning. Stomach cramps from eating to many Subway sandwiches. Just think I almost missed the debate between Romney and Obama to watch the pathetic Yankees. I did tune in to catch Obama spit out the same old tired crap. If you think the economy is headed in the right direction you should be shot and you are as dumb as you look. The only one buying his line are the have nots, thats right the 47% of Americas that have their hands out or should I say have their hands in my pockets. At least Romney have a 5 point plan whether it works or not at least he has a plan. Hows that Hope and Change working out for you so now the Obama slogan is FORWARD Yeah moving forward towards the edge of a fucking cliff. Whatsa Matta you think I voted for this guy. I still have my McCain bumper sticker on my car. Don't laugh his vice president would have been just as stupid as Joe Biden.

WEEKEND UPDATE

What a weekend for sports. The Jets and Giants won the ravens won and the Yankees lost.watching my son almost turning into a pillar of salt watching the ravens somehow beating the cowboys was classic as my daughter sat there saying "now i know why i never come over on sundays during football season...this ladies and gents is a fucking reality show trust me when i tell you, between me cursing every single fantasy football player on my team and cursing their mothers, fathers,sisters and cousins because these bastards can't catch a ball is scary but i must say somewhat comical at the same time.... Hey Jankee fans how about that Arod. His batting average is 0.95.Isnt that a fucking interstate hwy number, so here is my suggestion to Arod, get on I-95 and keep driving till it ends and just keep driving what a fucking piece of dog shit. Whatta ya know Robbie Cano is batting 0.62 Is that really a batting average? my sister has a better batting average. Hey Swisher whats with the eye black? its not fucking war paint you asshole. So Sanchez beats the Colts and then comes back to beat the Yankees how great is that or is Sanchez just a common name in Mexico. Here's food for thought, could the umpires be on the take? just asking. Looks like the Yankees will be bitch slapped 4 and out. Could you imagine a Detroit / St. Louis World Series. Talk about murderers row, Wow you couldn't have a series in two of the worse cities in America unless the series was held in Philadelphia. I hope they are day games or the crime rate is going to skyrocket. Maybe if your in St. Louis you can go to Sweetie Pies and eat some of that greasy shit soul food. Can you believe this broad made a living serving that crap.and btw i now realize why i love to eat out for sunday dinner because after tasting my wifes cooking yesterday i have officially boycotted her opening the fucking stove and i have secretly made the stove into a plant stand......

WELL THIS TAKES THE CAKE

Joe Girardis request to his father was to "Pop please hang in there till after the play-offs before you drop dead", he was fuckin denied. So pop was put on ice in the hopes it wouldn't screw up his team. So I guess it was okay to release the info in time for game 5. Somebody beat this pant load with Arods bat because its the only thing his bat could hit. Joe your father died, what don't you understand? Your father was in the bottom of ninth with two out and he struck out.... Did anybody tell Arod the game starts at 5:00 today, I think Ibanez told him it was an 8:00 game. After many face lifts Barbara Streisand returned to Brooklyn to perform at the new Jay-Z Center " Barbara, can you hear me" Blow me". The Wlliamsburg Bridge was bumper to bumper with every jew and gentile trying to get to the concert on time. "Oy Vey". How about that Joe Biden, I would have punched that douche bag senseless after I wiped that smirk off his face. Just another old liberal with tired ideas. Hey Joe. just get the fuck out and take Dumbo with you. No not your wife, Obama. I can see Joe after the election stumbling around Dover, De. with his zipper open holding a debate with a 55 gallon drum and screaming I was the Vice President of the United States. No Hockey, enuf said. If you can guess by how many points the Jets will lose by you can win a dinner for two at Fireman Ed's mobile home. Whatsa Matta do we think the Jets are gonna win.

A LITTLE NEWS THIS COULD BE UGLY

Have you heard the latest? Joe Girardi was mulling over moving Arod down the lineup. Que Pasa, doesn't he know what month this is?Its fuckin october and arod aint no mr october i can tell ya that he is like mr may when it don't fuckin count for shit. I think that the HIV is now affecting Girardis brain. Let's face it Arod always sucks in the post-season, so what if he is hitting .111 I say keep Arod right where he is because I hate this fuckin hammer head.... Guess what they are selling at Lord & Taylor? It is called scent of October a N Y Yankee Fragrance, I kid you not! It smells like old trash and burnt body parts, if you like to smell this shit this is the perfume for you. Eau De Toilet? yeah this gives new meaning to toilet water. I suggest you only splash this on while your on a fucking LSD trip of your life while you are in your basement mumbling" BABABOOEY "because if you do walk outside people will capture you and scrub your ass down thinking you smell like bigfoots dick. Did you hear the slasher that killed the Red Bull Soccer Coach escaped to Mexico, what a shocker another knife weilding maniac escapes to the land of lettuce pickers and drug cartels. I thought for sure he would have been in California, Texas or Arizona where he would have blended in. Are there any mexicans left in mexico?Don't get me wrong i love these guys they are the hardest workers i know , any white guy could'nt shine these fuckers shoes when it comes to breakin their asses to work but i think all of my brothers are all in long island.hey it could be alot worse we could be surrounded by the fuckin polish...... Toyota is re-calling 7.4 million vehicles, who buys these plastic shit cans with wheels, the window switch may start to smoke and you can get cancer from the smell of the melting plastic. I can see it now tooling down I-95 doing 120 because the gas pedal is stuck and the brakes won't work while the window switch fills the car with smoke. Well at least you won't see the bridge abutment before you crash. Thats what you get for buying a rice sucking piece of shit. Whatsa Matta no Ford dealers where you live. If you don't know what to get your sigifican other for Christmas they are selling a 99,500.00 dollar Jetpack at Neiman Marcus I guess it's better the driving in a Prius. FUHGETABOUTIT

MORE LATINO NEWS

Well last night was filled with hispanic goodies. How about that Mark Sanchez, what a chulo. Could somebody tell this piece of shit, latinos don't make good quarterbacks. Is he color blind? Isn't he supose to throw the ball to the team wearing GREEN. Hey Mark, stop plowing Eva Longoria long enough to read the fucking playbook. Hey Rex, Que Pasa. You should have left this kid picking and throwing lettuce in the lettuce patch in Southern California. How about Jeter striking out with men on and Arod striking out to end the game well at least they didn't pull their hamstrings. So its back to Jankee Stadium where even Joe Buck can hit a fuckin home run. The stadium will be packed, none will be latino ( you figure it out ). Betran made the latinos proud with two home runs, can't wait for the deciding game and he strikes out with the bat on his shoulder. Well at least the latinos had El Cid as a hero, no you stupid bastards not Sid Fernandez. Police are still seasrching for the latino that knifed to death the Red Bulls Soccer Coach. I don't like to stereotype but the key word here is knife.

HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH

In honor of Hispanic Heritage Month Citifield will be open for the latino public and they will be showing film of Jose Reyes pulling his hamstring on the big outfield screen. You are encouraged to bring your own cerveza, Que Pasa. This is a great month because Carlos Beltran will take strike three looking at a crucial moment to eliminate the Cardinals from the play-offs. Miami will be closed for the month, those that need to shop can go to the pork n beans section of Miami and get murdered. President Obama will claim he has some hispanic genes ( He will do anything for a vote ) The parade down 5th Ave will now have a section where the woman can get raped privately instead of Central Park. The men are encouraged to bring there own water bottles ( Get it ) . Ford Motor Co. will run the ads with Derek Jeter every half hour in hopes that at least one latino will buy a Ford Edge. Charlie Rangel will finally pay the back taxes on his villa in the Dominican Republic.Carlos Santana will make an appearance at Macy's on October 11th, Am I the only one that thinks he SUCKS. If he wanted to really be in touch with his fan base he would appear at K-Mart. This is the only month latin fathers don't have sex with their sons wives or cousins or aunts or uncles.

LATE BREAKING NEWS

Thirty eight people died while on board a ferry in Hong Kong. I find it hard to believe that in an asian nation only thirty eight people were on board. I was hoping the number would be much higher then that. The Great White Hope ( Barack Obama ) will debate Mitt Romey this wednesday. If you watch channels 2, 4, 7, 9 or 11 that means Obama already won the fucking debate. If you watch Fox News Romney already won this bullshit session debate with these 2 yentas. Since the only people watching will be the shut-ins, welfare recipients, white yuppie douches and the have nots all hoping Obama gets re-elected so they can continue to suck off the teet of the hardworking taxpayer or as we get called those greedy white folk. The "Union Organizer" will argue he needs 4 more years to finish what he started ( completely destroy this fucking country ) Romney will argue he needs to get elected because his old man never became president. I'm not voting for this turd sandwich. I'm voting for the giant douche. Whatsa Matta you thought I was a Democrat. The Mars Rover discovered different temperatures on this planet.Let me ask you a question Does anybody really give a flyin fuck what temperature it is on fucking mars are you fucking kidding me, cure cancer you fucking morons instead of wasting our tax money on if you need a fucking heavy coat while on mars. Heres some good news House prices rose 0.3% read that number carefully 0.3% thats correct 0.3%. Now there's a good reason to vote for this walking handbag. What the media wouldn't due to get this shit head re-elected. If you are still undecided you must be from a foreign country or just plain stupid. Just a minute this just came over the wire. The Iranians attacked the French Embassy. Now the Iranians are picking on the French when they would have gladly surrendered, whats next attacking the Italian Embassy,HEYYYYYY FUHGETABOUTIT.

A LIITLE BIT OF MLB

I know New York has a sports team known as the Jets, can somebody tell me where the Jankees play? Does the Latin community have a team i'm not aware of. Could somebody please beat the living shit out of Nick Swisher with his own bat.I love the guy but can he stop being so fucking obnoxious and tell C C Fatassia to put his baseball cap straight does he think he's hanging with his home boys at Subway. Could somebody please tell me why MLB hired Bruce Springsteen to be in a commercial for the playoffs? are they trying to boost the ratings in New Jersey? This fat lefty cop hating douche bag has'nt had a No. 1 record to his name in 30 fuckin years and the only people who buy his shit music are from NJ.Why not film another fucking reality show in new jersey called "old rock dick stars from NJ" they have those fucking houswives on tv that i so want to just drop kick all their fat asses into staten island these wanna be douche bags with their 15 mins of shame...if i see one more fucking cookbook from one of these twats i will burn down the book store who is carrying it, Hey heres a thought why not get Bon Jovi in the same commerical that the boss is in then nobody would watch. Bruce Springsteen? when was the last time he was relevant.let me think about this o ya neverrrrrrrrrrrr Whatsa Matta Hank Williams Sr. wasn't available. Oh yeah he's dead. Thank God the Barclay Center is selling out for concerts because when the Nets start playing that fucking place will be empty. It's a shame because they couldn't be in a better neighborhood for basketball. Whatsa Matta they couldn't find any real estate in Harlem. Here is some good news for you Met fans, the entire coaching staff will be back next year. Now isn't that something to look forward to. Looks like another 73 and 87 season coming up at Jackie Robionson Stadium, Enuf Said

WEEKEND SPORTS

I was hoping the Met season ( No not the fuckin Metropoitan Opera at lincoln center ) would end up at Citi-field. I stocked up all season long with old D-Cell batterries to throw at the players except for R A Dickey. To bad he won 20 games for these douche bags. The Mets couldn't beat the Braves if the Braves forfeited the game. So it is now proven the Mets can't win a pennant with Wright and Ike Davis, bid them farewell and don't let the clubhouse door hit them in their asses. Wright is a big pussy and Davis is the next Mickey Mantle, the only question is what bar stool will we find Ike under. The inept owners ( The Wilpons ) have a stadium with the Jackie Robinson Rotunda? Thats like the Yankees having a Ted Williams Rotunda, WTF am i missing. Hey Fred what the fuck brand of glue are you sniffing? Then you honor Chipper Jones on his retirement tour? I DON T GET IT...... You are one fucked up dude. This is the same team that allows that treasonist lefty douche bag, Bill Maher buy a piece of the club. ENUF SAID. Let's move onto to another hapless franchise, you guessed it the J-E-T-S. What did you guys see in Sanchez? This FUCKIN MEXICAN can't throw a completion unless it's to the other team or a taco is connected to it. How about that Tebow, how about it, he makes Sanchez look like John Elway. Another brilliant decision to hire Tony ( Sunglasses ) Sparano. Offensive Coordinator? I find that OFFENSIVE. Marty Jr. please come back to us. Do the receivers for the Jets understand that you have to actually catch the fucking ball? THATS WHY YOU ARE CALLED A RECEIVER. Unless your getting fucked in your ass like the fans are. Get rid of that fuckhead mascot Fireman ED. What a jackass and his entourage of jackasses. A bunch of fucking freeloaders. They learned that by working for the city. Fireman Ed, why don't you get in your little red fire truck get on hte L-I-E crank that sucker up to 100 and veer off the overpass at exit 48. Whatsa Matta you thought I was a Giants fan.

MOON RIVER

Andy Williams is now drifting down that Moon River goodbye, my huckleberry friend. He joins that long list of crooners from a bygone era, Sinatra, Dino, Como and hopefully Michael Buble isn't far behind joined by Harry Connick jr. Do those two suck or should I go for a fucking hearing test. While we are on the subject of people who can't sing what's up with Katy Perry? she screams and sound like chalk on a blackboard. She should cut a duet CD with Bruce Springsteen and it could be titled WE SUCK BALLS. The biggest and oldest diva of them all for those of you who don't know her real name ( Barabara Streisand ) will be at the Barclay Center. If your a burglar living in Williamsburg that day will be a great day for you because every fucking yenta with money will be at the Barclay center listening to this leftie bitch sing Yentl.Get me a gun please so i can shoot my fucking ears off..... Igotadickinmyhand went on a shopping spree with his fellow terrorists at Costco and Payless. Guess what they bought? Shoes, no surprise there, deordorant, soap and powder. They didn't have time to go to Petco and purchase flea dip ( think about it ) Well at least they will smell good when we drop a fucking bomb on their asses. Hey all iphone5 buyers do you have enough money left in your portfolios to purchase a 5,000 dollar bottle of whiskey The Glenrothes "Extraordinary Cask".... only 50 bottles will be sold in the U.S. You can sip on a glass of whiskey while mumbling to yourself why the fuck did i buy this pisswater while on your iphone5.... Whitney Houstons daughter Bobbi Kristini was in a car accident with her brother/slash boyfriend. Their 2012 Camaro was severely damaged. Lucky for them they weren't killed driving in that GM piece of crap.they could have been impaled by flying pieces of plastic. Whatsa Matta you thought she owned a Escalade

THE NFL REFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Hey, where did the NFL get these fuckin refs? the helen keller foundation for the blind??? Did they run an ad on Monster.Com?? or even worse Go Daddy.com??? Did they mis-spell football and it appeared as Futbol and they got a bunch of soccer ref applications.Can someone get me a gun so we can shoot these scabs in the ass and get them off the field. If this continues stadiums will start to look like the stands at a Dolphin game, fucking empty and the few fans that do show up will border on the mentally challenged. Lets just go to the fucking videotape and just elimnate these blind mother fuckers until the real jerk-offs come back to work. I'm surprised Obama hasn't stepped in because he needs all the union votes he can get. Here is a word of advise while doing a game in Baltimore, WHERE BULLET PROOF VESTS, if I have to explain, FUHGETABOUTIT. Things got pretty ugly with "stubby" Bill Belichick and that fucking hoodie he insists on wearing running and grabbing the arm of a ref after their loss to the Ravens. Bill, consider yourself lucky that you got out of there alive. The only thing worse than going to a Ravens game is going to a cowboy game. Fan IQ is none to high. Whatsa Matta the NFL can't spring for a little more coin to get the real refs back on the field.ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, At least there paid off, oops I mean paid to make bad calls. After all its the fans that will take it up the ass with higher ticket prices. Pretty soon there won't be any monoirities in the seats. Imagine paying 15.00 for a Cerveza, Que Pasa.

WHAT AM I MISSING

Don't we kill terrorists? So why is Igotadickinmyhand speaking at the U.N. I think this is a perfect time for a drone strike on that fucking building. So many terrorists in one building,man o man that sure seems tempting. Obama doesn't seemed concerned I guess it is more important to be on Letterman and the Today Show. Was that Whoopi Goldberg I saw kissing Obamas ass or Sammy Davis Jr. I thought he was dead. Do you know the five poorest states in America? None of them are on the West Coast or the East Coast. They are Mississippi, West VA. Arkansas, Kentucky, Alabama, gee what a fucking shock I was just surprised North & South Carolina didn't make the list. I have been to Kentucky and West VA trust me with the population having an IQ of 10 drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and smoking Camels and living in trailer parks they ain't never making the list of richest states. Alabama got Hank Williams Jr. and Arkansas has Wal-Mart, enuf said. They got the market cornered on gravy stained and I'm With Stupid T-Shirts. The people in Mississippi don't even want to live there but can't get their cars off the front lawn because they are up on cinder blocks. The government is about to railroad two Marines for urinating on the corpses of Taliban fighters. They should have taken the biggest shit on them as well. I am misunderstanding the word TALIBAN. You can shoot and kill them but you can't piss on them??what the fuck am i missing? Who the fuck dresses Nicki Minaj? The Hefty Bag Company, well why not didn't they dress Tawana Brawley. The Chi-coms bought 5 million new Iphone 5's and that was just in Flushing. Whatsa Matta you didn't think there were 5 million chinks in Flushing. 20 mil is being set aside by the state to bail out losers who can't pay their mortgages, more of my tax dollars being flushed down the toilet

HAPPY FRIDAY

The Jews have J date and the Christians have Christian Mingle to try and get laid. The Muslim don't have a dating service that's why Mohammed is fucking a goat. Derek Jeter said he could see himself playing for another team, how about the Cyclones you fucking asshole.... Think Obama is doing a good job? how about this number, 1.7 million in the city now live in poverty. 30.4 % are in the Bronx sleeping in the parking lot at Yankee Stadium. Household values took a massive hit in the quarter to the tune of 599 billion thats with a B. Bank of America ( One of Obamas biggest Contributors ) is laying off 16,000 workers.Those that aren't in poverty are waiting in line for the Iphone5. must be nice to have nothing to do but wait in a long line to get a fucking phone. Have you seen the symbol on the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. It looks like something from Nazi Germany..... 2.5 billion was paid out yesterday to those defrauded by Bernie Madoff. One check was for 526.9 million dollars. Who the fuck did that go to? Has anyone seen the new Honda Accord. Wow, this has more plastic than the old Honda Accord, the Japs must be recycling at a record pace. Whatsa Matta you don't like the Chevy Cruze

WE GOTTA GO THERE

The son of El Duce, little Napoleon Jr. Cuomo wants to keep the lid on state spending. Well isn't he a fucking genuis, I know he didn't get that idea from his father who spent this state into oblivion..... Who wanted to see Kate Middleton topless? Me Me I would love to see what Prince William is BANGIN ON..... Have the Muslims run out of American Flags to burn or did they all go home to watch Mohammed fuck a goat again.... All the stars came out to honor the late Marvin Hamlisch. Barbara Streisand sang a song from Yentl, Liza with a Z stayed sober long enough to belt out a show tune and I think it was Aretha Franklin but it could have been Fat Albert singing Nobody Does it Better. Even Regis Philbin showed up to put to rest a rumor he was dead. Talk about guys that can't sing Adam Levine ( Maroon 5 ) should get together with Springstein jump in the Bentley get on the Jersey Turnpike and around exit 3 hit a guardrail doing 140 mph and do their imitation of John Corzine. Hey Adam, go get another tat this time of a penis where your penis should have been.... Big game Sunday JETS and Dolphins you can watch the Jets lose on Ch2 at 1:00 Tony Sparano brings the wildcat to Miami. I wish he was in the trunk of a Buick Wildcat. Don't forget the San Gennaro Feast Whatsa Matta you don't like Italian Sausage FUHGETABOUTIT

IT IS WHAT IT IS

Yahoo yes yahoo bought Alibaba Group a Chi-com internet company for 7.6 Billion. No not Yoo-hoo the shit we use to drink as kids, Yahoo, thats a lot of fuckin wontons. An ancient text that was discovered reveals Jesus was married. Christ almighty whats next. Oh yeah I know the largest Mosiac dating back to the Roman Empire was unearthed in Turkey. What the fuck were the Romans doing in Turkey. That must have been some Empire. I watched another episode of Honey Boo Boo, I'm still confused, can somebody explain to me what in the fuck is going on with this show. If you want to stereotype life in the south then this show hits the nail on the head. Fat, stupid rednecks with bad teeth living in a house 6 inches from railroad tracks. How about American Hoggers, 4 stupid rednecks wearing overalls and cowboy boots driving around in an UTV shooting hogs, How riveting. You can always turn into Swamp People and try to understand what these rednecks are saying. What language are they speaking? This is the show where they shoot alligators in the head. How enthralling. Is there anyway we can start another civil war and this time completely wipe out the fucking South. I would love to see Grant take Richmond in living color

WEEKEND UPDATE

I was going to watch the Jet game but opted to watch the utube video of the couple having sex in the Yankee Stadium bathroom. It turned out I made the right choice.I guess watching a good blowjob is better then watching a team who sucks balls. Do the Jets suck enough? because the chick in this video was sucking like nobody i have ever seen.... What else would we expect from our Yankee fans. I guess they couldn't wait till they got back to Long Island. I bet it was an off duty NYC cop..... I really wish we had a quarterback that could throw more then 30 yards at a time. So the J-E-T-S are headed for another shitty season. By next week the fans will be begging Schottenheimer to come back. Tony Saprano you suck suck suck.Please do us all a favor and get hit by a 1969 Buick WILDCAT..... Now I have several questions I need answered. Is Joe Girardi starting to look like Freddy Mercury, does Michelle Obama have more teeth than the average person, And on the show "American Hoggers", who are the hogs? the two girls or the two guys or all four of them.what a bunch of fucking pigs..... FUHGETABOUTIT, Who thinks the Mets can win a World Series with David Wright ( Nobody ) . Is Tim Tebow praying to God during the game?and last but not least Where do the Muslims get all these U.S. Flags to burn?

THIS IS UGLY SO BEWARE

The religious fanatics are at it again. This time they are pissed off because somebody showed a picture of one of their religious figures fucking a goat or some shit like that. These fucking people live in huts, eat dirt, and take a shit in the street and they are worried about what Mohammed is doing? Burning the U S Flag in Bangladesh? REALLY you stupid bastards. You live in poverty but you can find an American Flag to burn and can afford the gas and matches to ignite it. OH I'm really scared. can't wait till you cocksuckers get hit with another flood. How about Lebanon where they wear socks with their sandals,thats a hell of a fashion statement you fuckin towel heads. Listen I'd be pissed to if I had to live in Lebanon, this place makes fucking Alabama look like paradise. Now what can you say about Yemen. Drop the Y and you got Semen. Just what they need because this god forsaken place is fucked. Then you have Egypt. One of the oldest societies, and they are still living in 5000 B.C. So all you mother fuckers can burn our flag but ofcourse its ok that your governments take our money and aid. It appears Mohammed dealt you people a bad hand while my God has blessed America Whatsa Matta you jealous. We got a missile with your fucking name on it. KABOOM

FENWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I was flipping through the channels and happened to see something that I thought was on the History Channel. It actually was the Yankees playing the Sox in Boston. I actually thought I was watching a video of what Berlin looked like after it was fuckin bombed. Has anybody seen this antique they call Fenway. The players are sitting on empty containers of Ralph's Ices with a 2x12 piece of wood running the length of the dugout. Does this fuckin place have running water?or do they have an inhouse dry well? Did the Romans watch chariot races in this place. What's with the color? Is that Kelly Green? or did somebody buy some leftover camouflage paint from the army navy surplus store that was on sale. Somebody should call Anheiser Busch and tell them that the fucking Busweiser sign isn't big enough, Wow you can see that thing from the sun. What's with that plywood wall in the outfield, is that there to keep the balls in, or the fans out, or is it hiding the view of another dump they call the Kennedy Compound. Now I know why the fans drink so much,which I must admit, been their done that and really is fucking fun, but you still have to be high as a fucking kite to enter this shit hole. Not only did I get splinters in my ass from the antique seats,but my ass is still red from the rash i got sitting on these fucking things.I gotta tell ya I still question if the bathrooms have a toilet that actually flushes or don't the fans know how to flush the fucking toilets. Fenway should be listed as an Historical Site so that when games aren't scheduled visitors can see where MOSES slept. Whatsa Matta Boston, you actually think this place is like Wrigley Field.although I must say you do have a better ballclub then the cubbies but thats for another rant.....peace outttttttttttttt

THE NEW FALL LINEUP

Starting this fall there will be a host of new reality shows. Let's start with "Trailer Park Wars", this show will be based in Alabama featuring run down trailer parks that have survived several tornado hits but you could never tell by what you'll see. You will witness the residents fighting over crack pipes and leftover crack residue. The women will be fighting over the lone drunk, toothless, uneducated man wearing the beer stained wife beater. The women will have more chins than a chinese phone book wearing gravy stained house coats with a Marlboro dangling from their one tooth. Each week the show will feature a different trailer park, but the story line will be the same. The next show is called "Dumpster Diving", each week will feature the many homeless, dumpster diving for untold treasures in Detroit. Watch as they try and redeem what they find for cash at Hard Core Pawn. Broken computers, outdated T.V.'s, laptops with no tops and cellular phones with no screens, all treasures in the eye of the beholder. How about this one, "Storage Wars of Mississippi". Watch as these rednecks try to outbid each other for lockers filled with old overalls, cow shit covered cowboy boots, rocking chairs and unused nooses, some lockers even have white outfits with little slits cut for eyeholes that have KKK emblazoned across the chest. The bidding will be low because, lets face it they are living in Mississippi. "Housewives of Little Italy" will be the smash hit of the season. Watch as Stella makes her homemade gravy and curls the one hair growing from her mole. Her husband, Tony comes home from a tough day of plumbing sales and the fireworks begin as Tony discovers a wiretap has been placed on his phone and Stella confronts him about a used condom she found in his pants pocket.I think i need to start my own fucking network......because trust me you know as well as i that some maniac will be watching shit like this.....

HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS

Are the same parents who are letting their kids eat Tide detergent pods watching shows like Honey Boo Boo, Swamp People, Teen Mom, Dance Moms, Housewives of New Jersey, because that could explain why these kids are soooooo fucked up. I can't wait for the new fall line up of shows. "Fishermen Gone Wild", "Wal-Mart and Mexicans", "K-Mart and Mexicans", "I'm really fuckin Fat so Fuck-off" and the big new hit of the season "Stripping Wars". Oh boy can't wait to break out the six pack of Dos Equos and Tidy Bowl, I love the minty flavor of Tidy Bowl Don't you? Kelly Ripa hired Michael Strahan to be her co-host. She said she was trying to reduce the un-employment of black men in New York. Maybe this putz can go get his teeth fixed.This fuckin guy can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence..... Michelle Obama has too many teeth and this guy doesn't have enough teeth. There is an assembly seat open in Flushing with 7 names on the primary. Ron Kim, Yen Chou, Ethel Chen ? what up with Ethel, Sunny Hahn, Myung Suk Lee, Phil Gim and Martha Flores-Vasques. First off Martha just get the fook out. You don't stand a chance, Second, is this a primary in fucking China or America? Whatsa Matta you couldn't find a Smith or a jones? This race has more Chins than a 500 pound women eating 10 from colume A AND 10 from colume B. Whats with the Latins and their bad legs. Mark ( Bad Hair ) Teixeira now has an aggravated calf strain. I guess thats a symptom coming off roids. Can US Yankee fans say bye bye to 1st Place. Yeah go ahead say it. You really don't think A-Rod is going to bring US to the dance, Do you?

YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP

Did you hear about the kids who are eating Tide detergent pods. Are the parents leaving these things in a fucking candy dish? Are they leaving them next to the Oreos? then WTF. My kids never went into the laundry room looking for snacks are these kids fucked up or what. I can understand Chuck Schumer almost eating one, there isn't a dumber bastard on the planet except for Joe Biden. I hope the pods are kosher or old Chuck the Schmuck may have a problem. Its fucking detergent, it belongs where the rest of your household chemicals go you dumb fucks. Does anybody want to come to my house for an Ammonia Shake? or how about a delicious Fabric Softener Freeze. yum yum. Listen you stupid lefty yuppie scum douchebags if your kids are dumber than you then I suggest you buy a different detergent. Mommy can I have some Comet on my French Fries. So now Chuck Schumer is involved here comes higher taxes on detergents. Hey Chuck, have you seen the price of gas lately? and your worried about some stupid ass kid easting detergent. The parents can't afford the price of gas to bring the kid to the hospital. Why don't you and Nancy Pelosi go into a nice quiet room put two bullets in a gun and play Russian Roulette because I don't care which one goes first as long as you are both gone.

DA JETSSSSSSS

Well that BOOOB with the douche fire helmet on( Fireman Ed ) had a good day yesterday.somehow the jets put 48 points on the board against the lump of shits.. The Bills. Don't get to excited Jets fans after all it was Buffalo and we all know the Jets ain't that good. So it must be that Bills are just that bad. Well at least the Jets won't be 0 for 16 so they now have to avoid 1 and 15. Next week its the Steelers. Do you really think that game will be as lopsided? I DON'T THINK SO. We can only hope Fireman Ed gets run over in the Steeler parking lot or he gets poisoned eating at Primanti's. This guy is a bigger douche than Alec Baldwin. It's sad to see the only true New York team in shambles. Let's face it if live in Buffalo just kill yourself now. If you ever want to get depressed just drive thru that shithole Buffalo. Let's face it you have to drive to the Garbage State to watch a game it's pretty sad. So it should be the Newark Jets and the Secaucus Giants. How in Gods name did we lose these two teams to a state thats smells worse than Staten Island. The goombas must have been asleep at the wheel or they owed a favor to the goombas in Jersey. Whats Matta not enough real estate in Flushing. New York Jets, New York Giants? Yo, once you go over the GW or pass thru the Lincoln Tunnel your in Jersey or is my GPS fucked up.

HEY ITS FRIDAY.....

There is racing today at Calder, so in the second race go with Sayyourpraysnow. While we are on the subject of horses am I the only one who thinks Kim Kardashian isn't attractive. She makes Honey Boo Boo look like a fucking 10. I would love to rest my Schlitz beer cans on her tremendously large ass when it isn't getting plowed by Kanye West. She gives new meaning to "babies got back" What a great role model for our young kids, if you got big botox lips, huge tits and a huge fat ass you to can be fucked by every black man in America. If Robert Kardashian was alive this poor fuck would kill himself. So now we have Bruce Jenner who looks like a burn victim speaking out about his step daughter. Bruce,do us all a fucking favor and take your Gold Medals and hang yourself. I really wish Kim would start dating Chris Brown ( Think about it ) Talk about somebody that got fucked more times than a Bernie Madoff clients, Madonna will be at Yankee Stadium. If your into old woman wearing leather and garter belts this is the show for you my friends. She will be singing her hits "crazy for you and your dick" " like a douchebag"and that monster hit "material twat" I think thats some of her mindless crap. Every gay latino dancer will be thrusting their crotches at her while she waves her flabby old arms and pumps her overused snatch at the audience. We all know what a great sound system Yankee Stadium has. Hopefully her singing will be drowned out by the sound of gun fire. Do you think A-Rod will be there? Just remember all you rich white folk your in the Bronx. DON'T STOP FOR GAS