END OF THE YEAR

The man who helped save the 3 kidnapped women in Ohio signed a book deal. I have three questions, Who signed the deal for him? Who is going to write the book for him? can he actually read the book when it is written? Mattel has introduced a plus size Barbie Doll. The bitch has got a double chin. Barbie, Ken ain't gonna fuck with you anymore. Ooops wait a minute rumor has it they will be introducing a pot bellied unshaven Ken doll holding a bottle of Dos Equos in one hand and a bowling bag in the other. MacArthur Airport is set to lose 1.4 million dollars for 2013. Can the politicians please put back what they stole. The new Fast & Furious movie will be released on April 10th , 2015. Does Paul Walker die in this movie, just asking. Beyonce was spotted in a Massachusetts store imitating a white women and handing out 50 dollar gift cards to the peasants that were in the store. JayZ was spotted getting his lips done. Carmelo Anthony sprained his ankle last night against the Magic. Really? a sprained ankle playing basketball. Maybe you should wear high tops for more ankle support you pussy. What is it with black men and their feet. Just Asking.

OLD PEOPLE

Do old people sitting on the couch at night watching T.V. realize they are getting old. The answer is yesss and you know why? commercials for Lyrica, Humira, Warfin, RectiCare and Cialis were holding their interest. I guess eating those mallomars with a glass of milk every night brought on their diabetes so the Lyrica will help ease the tingling they get on the bottom of my feet. The arthritis in the back bothers them everytime they go to stand up so its time for the Humira. they can't afford to retire so everytime they think about that they get Afib you know a symptom not brought on by a heart valve problem so I better order up some Warfrin. Well do I have to explain why they need RectiCare. No stupid thats not why. the seniors have been fucked over so many times I guess this will help ease the pain. This cream alarms me because it also says for other rectal disorders. What other rectal disorders are they talking about. Lets face it because of the diabetes from the mallomars they can't get a boner, hence they need the Cialis. You really don't think they are giving up the mallomars do you. My only hope is when they signed up for Obamacare the application actually was processed. If not they am back on the couch shaking their feet to get the tingling out, rubbing blu/emu on their back, feeling their heart skip a beat, scratching their ass while trying to get a boner. FUGHGETABOUTIT

WELL THERE YA GO

The nation's No.1 maker of the shittiest cars on the rode, General Motors is spending 1.3 Billion they stole from the government to upgrade 5 U.S,. plants. I guess that still leaves them 49 billion they took during the bailout from guess who? THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER. Remember last week the Treasury sold its last shares of GM for a 10 billion dollar loss. Bailouts and Obamacare, the government sure knows what they are doing, what a fucking joke but I digress. GM said it will unveil 14 new or improved models next year. OMG, 14 more hideous looking cars. Compared to Honda, the plastic being used in their cars might create a shortage of polymers. The new female CEO, Mary Barra said pink is the new black for their cars. Listen if your riding around in a GM product its time to do a Paul Walker and go down in flames, hopefully behind the wheel of your Silverado. The Dow was up yesterday 129 points on news that the American public is getting fucked royally. Wall Street always responds to good news who said the mob is a thing of the past. Beyonce's new album sold 617,000 units on itunes, " Drunk in Love" is the most popular track. This is bigger crap than "Put a Rink On It" Does anybody have a Prosche GT Beyonce can go crusing around in. JUST ASKING. Oh yeah make sure Jay Z is a passenger.

REAL CRAP

Beyonce has released her 5th album and it is titled MORE CRAP. It's going to be hard to top "Put a Ring on it". Lets face it she ain't no Etta James. You ever see this train wreck with no make up, WHOA. Susan Sarandon said she was stoned during all the award shows. Gee I just thought she was retarded now I find she was drug induced retarded. She is now 67 years old and looks it. Robinson Cano signed a 240 million dollar contract and gives his baby mama 600 bucks a month in child support that he often pays late. When asked why he replied "WHAT, TOO MUCH???. Hey Cano, your a douche bag. Could somebody please tell Miley Cyrus to keep her clothes on, she looks like a boy with tits. The physco that was doing the sign language ( not really ) at the Mandela send off will be hired by President Obama to explain Obamacare, Good FUCKIN Luck. The drama series " Breaking Bad" was nominated for a Golden Globe Award. Isn't that terrific, a show that glorifies the selling of meth. Who said there aren't any good shows on T.V. FUGHGETABOUTIT

I'M BACK BABY

Gisele Bundchen was photograghed breast feeding while getting her hair and nails done. I was shocked to find it wasn't Tom Brady she was breast feeding. The Antartica recorded it's lowest temperature ever at 135.3 below zero. So all you global warming tree huggers can go FUCK YOURSELVES. A woman was named CEO of General Motors, her first executive decision was to place tampon holders and better sun visor mirrors in all new GM cars. The government sold their final stake in GM for a lose of 10.5 BILLION dollars. Somebody should tell the government you buy low and sell high, stupid bastards. 95,000 people packed into to the Rugby Stadium in So. Africa for what they thought was a game taking place only to find a dead guy was being eulogized, riots did not break out and tear gas and rubber bullets were put back into storage for another day. President Obama did give a hearty handshake to President Raul Castro the communist leader of Cuba. Didn't anybody tell Obama Cuba is the enemy?. Instead of fucking us with Obamacare he should be fucking Cuba every chance he gets. What up with that. Curtis Granderson was introduced on his first day as a Met, fans are shocked he can speak english. No Mas

BAD CLUTCH????

The former owner of the 2005 Porsche Carrera GT in which Paul Walker died said the car had a "tricky" clutch with a tendency to stall. Well I don''t think stalling was problem here, DO YOU. If the car stalled it wouldn't have been doing 120 mph into a tree. Porsche said they contacted Toyota and will purchase the same anchors they install on their cars. Porsche stopped selling this car in the U.S. because it couldnt meet safety standards. I guess that was the first warning. Besides not buying a Honda because you can get cancer from all the plastic in their cars here is another reason not to buy these jap shit cans, Michael Boulton. Who thought it was a good idea to put him in your commercials screeching out Christmas songs while standing on top of those hideous looking cars. Services will be held for Nelson Mandela today at FNB Rugby Stadium in Soweto. Four U S Presidents will be in attendance. South Africas own Barack Obama, President Bush, no not father Bush and the worse President ever Jimmy Carter and our first black President Bill Clinton. Somebody tell Jimmy he won't be getting a send off like this one. We believe Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett will be the half-time entertainment. Eleanor Parker a three time Oscar nominee who played the scheming baroness in " The Sound of Music" has died at age 91. I guess the hills are not alive with the Sound of Music.

TGIFFFFFFFFFFF

A teen was arrested for stealing parts from the crash site of Paul Walkers accident. Listen I don't think Paul Walker has any use for them do you?? It appears the Stock Market is up on news that 200,000 worthless part time jobs were created. This means 200,000 people are now making 7.25 an hour for less than 32 hours. After they sign up for Obamacare their take home pay will be a negative 480.00. Yup it appears the economy is headed in the right direction. Workers at McDonalds are demanding 15 bucks per hour. Wow, 15.00 bucks to say would you like fries with that or Te gustaria papas fritas con eso. Former CEO of Tyco Dennis Kozlowski will be released from prison after serving 8 years for stealing 134 million. When asked what he will do he said " Spend the 134 million I stole" Let's break it down, thats 16.75 mil for every year served. Some asshole paid 197 G's for the handwriiten lyric sheet to Springsteens " Born to Run" I guess that old saying is true " One man's garbage is another man's gold". Springsteen SUCKS. Playboy is heading into its 60th year, I only buy it to read the articles. With all the porn on the internet who the fuck buys Playboy. Robinson Cano wants to extort 300 million for a 10 year contract from the Yankees. Isn't extortion illegal? Cano's dad said it appears the Yankees don't want Robbie. The Yankees said he will be 65 when his contract ends or 90 in latin years. Robbie go play in Seattle it has a very high suicide rate. Enuf said.

OOO BOYYYY

The coroners office in Los Angeles released Paul Walkers cause of death, FLAMES. Enough said. Mariano Rivera gave Derek Jeter a life size blow up doll for xmas saying "he can finally have a wife". The only problem is the doll is female. Now somebody tell Mariano to get the fuck out because nobody cares about him anymore. Celebrity Chef Nigella Lawson said she took cocaine 7 times. I guess her receipes required it, lets see 2 teaspoons of salt, a dash of sage and an eight ball you are good to go. Sinatra's Upper East Side penthouse is up for sale and all it takes is 5.6 mil. and a can of renuzit to get rid of the smell left from Marilyn Monroe. While we are on the subject of Sinatra did anyone watch Mob City last night. Wow, I wasted 6.99 on a bottle of Drakkar to try and set the mood and was gravely disappointed. I don't know what was worse the acting or the script or both. Thank god South Park was on. A Norman Rockwell painting " Saying Grace sold at auction for 46 million. I have Norman Rockwell plates and they are worth 1.99, what up with that. December 25th is the birthday of Jesus Christ. Do we sing Happy Birthday or Blue Christmas by Elvis, just shoot me now.

TIS THE SEASON???????????????

Tis the Season? The season for what? Listen you cannot turn on the radio without hearing Christmas tunes, thats right not Carols. Faith Hill singing Christmas songs, she can't carry a tune in a Salvation Army bucket. Then if your ready to stick the barrel in your mouth or go in the garage and take the pipe how about Elvis singing Blue Blue Christmas. When your ready to take your final breath make sure the radio is playing Bob Carlisles Christmas Shoes. This lovely song has mom dying on Christmas Eve and the her kid is in the store trying to buy her a pair shoes for Christmas. For Christ's sake ( No pun intended ) you have got to be fucking kidding me, What happened happened to Sleigh Bells Ringing right about now I will even take Dominick the Donkey. Do you know why the suicide rate increases around this time of year? because the democrats are in control of the Senate. And you thought it had something to do with the holidays, fooled ya. Listen Xmas is suppose to be a joyous occasion, Christ was born. If you want to play depressing songs then how about on the day he died. Whatever happened to Happy Birthday To You. A great new series starts tonight on TNT at 9:00, Mob City. The series is based on the 40's mobsters in Los Angeles. Ah the good old 40's when mobsters were mobsters, Bugsy Sigel, Mickey Cohen, Frank Sinatra well maybe not. Make sure you tune in tonight. Leave the keys in the CTS and put on a splash of Drakkar your in for a treat. FUGHGETABOUTIT.

WELL HERE YA GOOOOOOOOOO

I just got my Kardashian Christmas Card. Hey wait a minute is this a Christmas Card or a picture from the Paul Walker car crash. I did spot a burn victim in the picture I believe it is Bruce Jenner, but he wasn't in that car was he. I guess Kanye isn't part of the Kardashian familly because I don't see any black guys in the photo and the kid born out of wedlock North West. What kind of name is North for a kid and worse yet North West. If I was this kid I would overdose on Tramadol as soon as I could get my hands on some scrip. When asked why the black side of the family wasn't in the card Khloe replied " they celebrate kwanza". Odom was too busy trying to score, no not in basketball and said he would never have dicked Khloe if he wasn't high as a fucking kite. Kanye was on tha radio ranting about rich white men. I guess rich black men are okay. Did you hear speed was a factor in the fatal car crash involving Paul Walker. That LAPD sure do have some fucking geniuses on the force. I wonder how they figured that out. LETS GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE

WHAT CAN I SAY

What can you say about the Jets. Lets start with they SUCK. We have a quarterback that can't throw the fucking ball to his own team and another that should'nt be allowed in the same room with his father. We have an offensive coordinator that makes Tony Sparano looks like a fucking genius. Rex had the same game plan as usual, NOT TO HAVE ONE. Its time for Rex and his crew to just get the FUCK OUT. What can you say about Paul Walker. He wont be starring in the new Fast & Furious movie called Crispy and Welldone. Maybe Vin Diesel should have been driving instead of Walkers friend. Listen if your riding in a Porche shouldnt you have a fire extinguisher as standard equipment. What can you say about David Beckham who was made to jerk off to a picture of a male soccer player as part of a school hazing. When did he think this wasn't a good idea? Was it after the money shot? Does it make you gay when you jerk off in front of other males? YES