TODAYS NEWS

General Norman Schwarzkopf passed away at age 78. This is the same General who beat the Iraqis so fucking bad they have a picture of him next to the word "beat" in the dictionary. Alas he beat the Iraqia but he couldn't beat pneumonia.Did you hear that Marilyn Monroe had ties to communism? at this stage of the game who gives a flying fuck. Guess who didn't live to 78? thats right Marilyn Monroe. She is dead and still won't get the fuck out of here. Talking about dead people Brintney Spears is getting canned from X Factor, why not call K-Fed maybe he can give you a facial. What car do you think government officals will be driving off the fiscal cliff, That's right a Toyota Camry. Can't get more American than that. The rare finback whale that washed ashore in Breezy Point died. Well at least it will blend in with the rest of the garbage. Kim Kardashian got a pair of shoes for Christmas from Kanye West. A pair of fucking shoes? Well you know what they say " Once you go black you can't get credit " Whatsa matta he couldn't find the jewelry dept. Is P Diddy German? If not why does he wear socks with his sandals. A jet skidded off the runway at Shit Hole Airport in Islip. Did Toyota install the brakes on this thing. Rex Ryan wants out unless the owner spends money for his offense. Goodbye Rex just get the fuck out. Now you blaming the owner for a bad offense? Is that Woody Johnson wearing the sunglasses on the sidelines or Tony Sporano. Avery Johnson got fired as the Nets head coach. Really you say, yes really. After being named coach of the month in November he gets fired in December. Whose running that plantation anyway? Massa better get that group under control. Whatsa Matta you didn't know black guys play basketball