THE NEW FALL LINEUP

Starting this fall there will be a host of new reality shows. Let's start with "Trailer Park Wars", this show will be based in Alabama featuring run down trailer parks that have survived several tornado hits but you could never tell by what you'll see. You will witness the residents fighting over crack pipes and leftover crack residue. The women will be fighting over the lone drunk, toothless, uneducated man wearing the beer stained wife beater. The women will have more chins than a chinese phone book wearing gravy stained house coats with a Marlboro dangling from their one tooth. Each week the show will feature a different trailer park, but the story line will be the same. The next show is called "Dumpster Diving", each week will feature the many homeless, dumpster diving for untold treasures in Detroit. Watch as they try and redeem what they find for cash at Hard Core Pawn. Broken computers, outdated T.V.'s, laptops with no tops and cellular phones with no screens, all treasures in the eye of the beholder. How about this one, "Storage Wars of Mississippi". Watch as these rednecks try to outbid each other for lockers filled with old overalls, cow shit covered cowboy boots, rocking chairs and unused nooses, some lockers even have white outfits with little slits cut for eyeholes that have KKK emblazoned across the chest. The bidding will be low because, lets face it they are living in Mississippi. "Housewives of Little Italy" will be the smash hit of the season. Watch as Stella makes her homemade gravy and curls the one hair growing from her mole. Her husband, Tony comes home from a tough day of plumbing sales and the fireworks begin as Tony discovers a wiretap has been placed on his phone and Stella confronts him about a used condom she found in his pants pocket.I think i need to start my own fucking network......because trust me you know as well as i that some maniac will be watching shit like this.....