TODAYS NEWS

What a shocker, a former Yankee on the juice. Melky Cabrera gets a 50 game ban for juicing. When asked why he would do that he simply replied " I am trying to shrink my penis". Ecuador beat Chile 3 zip at Citifield yesterday in front of 39,656 fans. That's 39,655 more fans than the Mets draw. Fred Wilpon converted the rotunda from Jackie Robinson to the Pele rotunda. There was only one problem, after the game nobody good get their cars started in the parking lot. Several tow trucks had to called in. The yuppie, hipster douchebags in Central Park are tired of getting hit by bicycles speeding through the park. Here is a good idea, stay out of the bike lanes you stupid fucks then hopefully you will get trampled by a handsome cab. Boeing can't get their Dreamliner 787 off the ground and they are fucking around with the X-51. This plane would travel at Mach 6 or 3600 mph. The U S Air Force said this will allow us to drop bombs on China in record speed. Here is some more good news from the J-E-T camp. Sanchez went 9 fo 13 with two interceptions and was sacked three times in team drills. Fireman Ed the Jet coach said he was not impressed. Whatsa Matta you thought Rex Ryan was the coach.