THE NEWEST CELEBRITY NEWS

Poor Rumer Willis, she has to celebrate her birthday while her mom "Reddi Whip Moore" is in rehab. If she was that upset why did she celebrate at all. I will tell you why. In a very short time from now Rumer will be seated next to her hairbag mother at rehab. I understand the clinic she is in has a family plan. What can you get a girl that has everything for her birthday? Ooh Ooh pick me I know. You can get her a new mom that isn't a pill popping, nitrous oxide huffing, age anxiety douchebag. NOW Talking about girls that like that young stiff piece of sausage, Jennifer Lopez was spotted on a Malibu Beach with a 24 year old named Casper Smart. No no not Casper the friendly Ghost, Casper Smart. She traded in that broken down, sunglass wearing latino Marc Anthony for a brand new 24 year old. How lucky or smart ( pun ) do you think this kid is. It appears she traded the landscaper in for a white boy toy. Let me give you some info on Casper Smart. He is a back up dancer. This pantload isn't even the star dancer. He's the guy you call when the star dancer gets his dick caught in the zipper. Just think who he could dick if he was a star. Yup you got it Demi Moore. Now for all you Country Singing fans out there. Randy Travis was arrested in Sanger, TX on suspicion of (you got it ) DUI. Randy Travis has turned his life into a country song. First off where the fuck is Sanger, TX. maybe that's why he started drinking. Would you believe at the ripe old age of 53 he has been singing such tunes as Digging up Bones, I Told you So, Forever & Ever, Amen and my personal favorite On the Other Hand for over 25 years. He will soon join Hank Williams in the back of a Cadillac, DEAD. Poor Randy, recently divorced his wife of 19 years. It is stated for reasons as a state of incompatability. This means he was dicking Walker Texas Ranger. Randy, I am now begging you to come back to us. Check in at Betty Ford before you check out.