THE YANKS

The Yankees are in a pitching mess. CC Sabathia strained a muscle trying to lift a fuckin double meat Subway hero. Andy Pettitte has a fractured ankle from a softly hit line drive. Andy get the fuck out you are 90 in baseball years. The Yankees are calling up Red Ruffing and Hideki Irabu from the dead. Nick Swisher volunteered to fill in for Pettitte while he rehabs at a nursing home in the Bronx.And By the way who in the fuck cuts Teixeiras' hair? Lighthouse for the Blind? Great move by the Marlins signing Jose Reyes. I see he is leading his new team right into last place just like he did with the Mets. He is the second biggest douchebag on the planet. Do you remember who will always hold the number 1 spot? Big soccer game today, Germany vs Italy. I was informed Italy would forfeit the game to Germany to forgo total destruction of the country. Anyway, the Italians said it would interfere with their 3:00 o'clock espresso break. Whatsa matta with youuuuu. David Wright tied a team record with his 580th walk. Yes that is correct in fucking walks. Trust me he won't be hitting 580 home runs. Ike Davis is now batting.200. Wow, Wright walking for the 580th time and Ike Davis batting .200 gonna get my season tickets now. I would rather watch womens lesbian golf,then mets baseball. Polo this Sunday at Bethpage State Park, get their early it promises to be an exciting event. Can't wait for the Chukker to begin. Did you know there are 6 Chukkers in a game. Most exciting 43 minutes in all of sports. SHOOT ME NOW