WEEKEND UPDATE

Mike Wallace died, get over it he was 93. I think we can come to the conclusion he won't be 94, sign me uppp. Do you know how to stop the Check Engine light from coming on in a 2011 Porsche Panamera? Answer:: Take the fucking bulb out. The designer of the Porsche 911 died this weekend, Im surprised he didn't get killed driving one of those death traps he created. 911 was a correct name because you had to dial 911 everytime this piece of crap brokedown. The upside is they did look nice sitting in peoples driveways. The Knicks are closing in on first place and even better than that tied with Sixers. Do you know the best thing about Philadelphia? Driving right straight through it. This is the same city where everybody gets their car booted because they are so stupid they can't park properly nor can they read. What is so hard about a sign that says NO PARKING ZONE. This is the same place that produced Rick Santorum. Hey Rick, JUST GET OUT. The rich, white plantation owners in Augusta couldn't be happier with a golfer named Bubba Watson winning the Masters. After he took off the Green Jacket they all celebrated in their brown uniforms. ( Get It ). How about those Mets, no Reyes and they go 3 and 0. Jon Niese got a nose job? You could have fooled me. This guy just signed a 25 mil contract and he needed Beltran to pay for the plastic surgery? Saturday was homeless glove day at Citifield. They gave away wool gloves with the fingers cut out. It looked like 25,000 homeless people in the stadium. Well at least 24,999