TODAYS NEWS

Wham-O has informed me that No Korea has ordered a rubber-band balsa toy plane so they can load a nuclear warhead destined for the U.S. They promised to pay for it with two quarts of rice and one inoperable 56 DeSoto. Kim Jung Un, better known as the guy with the worst haircut than a marine is threatening to attack the U.S. Does this guy ever watch the History Channel I suggest he catch the next episode where we drop two bombs on the Japs and the rest is history. Maybe he hasn't seen our Pacific Fleet that can turn No. Korea into a fucking parking lot for the new Trump Casinos. I guess you don't have to be intelligent to be the dick-tator of No. Korea. Hey Un, look up in in the sky, its a bird, its a plane, no you stupid mother fucker its a B-1 to dispatch you from the face of this earth. The Republican Party has been reduced to Rand Paul filibusting on the Senate floor while eating a MIlky Way.yup a fucking candy bar Whatsa Matta you were afraid you would choke on Milk Duds. Just sit down and shut the fuck up. Sales of Jack Daniels is overflowing ( Pun Intended ) Sales rose 7% to 1.03 billion. I will toast to that. They credit the increase in sales to Obama. The worse things get the more people drink. The stock Market reached new highs, then why did my stock in JC Penney go from 31.71 a shore to 14.43. What up with that.