MY BIRTHDAY RANT

Are you ready for the Summer Olympics? I'm not,and frankly i could give a flying fart about these steroid induced people. They are being held in London, no not London KY., London England. This is the country we had to bail out in WWII. This is the place where they call cigarettes fags. So what do they call fags.they call fucking "shagging" so what do you call a friggin shag rug a fuck rug??? is it me? they call an apartment a flat so what do they call a fucking flat tire?? They are a fucked up bunch across the pond. Soccer, Fencing, Swimming, Running, Gymnastic somebody just kill me now. Judging from the size of the woman swimmers there won't be any Gold Medals in that sport. Is swimming really a sport?do i really want to watch a bunch of guys running a 100 yard dash and then waving a flag how fuckin exciting... How about them Mets. Too bad Fred wasn't in a certain movie theater. My only hope are the Jets, Jesus Christ who am I kidding. The Jets will lose by scores larger than the weight lost by Rex Ryan. The Phillies are paying Cole Hamels 144 mil for 6 years thats a lot of cheese steaks, that's 130 more than the Racino at Aqueduct made in one week. Six more years in Philly is like a life sentence in San Quentin. They must have pictures of Hamels fucking the Philly Fanatic. I forgot to mention they are now racing at Saratoga. Howard Beach is now deserted and the Drakkar wearing, Cadillac driving, velour jump suit wearing crowd is Upstate while their wives are filming next seasons episodes of" Meatball Wives". Fuhgetaboutit. Whatsa Matta, you can't make this shit up.