PIZZA WARS

San Diego was ranked #1 for pizza, FUGHGETABOUIT. Who the fuck took that survey. Vegas got 2nd, Boston 3rd and New York 4th. New York got 4th place, whoever took that survey better go into the Federal Witness Protection Program. The only thing San Diego ranks #1 at is, Um, lets see, duh, I can't fucking think of anything...... Snooki is trying to find out who the father of her baby is so she went to a DNA testing facility. They narrowed the possibilities down to 30 men..... I guess President Stupid now realizes that Al Qaeda isn't on the run so three U S Drone strikes took out 34 members of the terror group. Hey President Stupid, the #2 man responsible for the 9/11 mass murder is still on the loose. DUH..... Two winning Powerball tickets were sold in New Jersey, now those people can finally afford to move out of the Garbage State oops I mean Garden State. Do me a favor take that blimp for a governor with you..... Swimming lessons will be held at the Usher estate today. Don't forget your floaties and please don't wear underwear under your swimsuit. The pool isn't a fucking washing machine. Shares in Tesla surged 18% to a record high. Hey has anybody even seen one these AAA batteries on the road. I HAVEN'T. Be careful this companies name ends in vowel. Somebody gonna get fucked and it ain't me. I thought Nicholai Tesla was dead. Jobless claims were up but best since 07. What, Uh, what, claims are up but they are up less than 07. That was fucking 6 years ago. The media will do anything to put a positive spin out there for President Stupid and Vice President Stupider. Sign me up for Obamacare because I think I'm gonna be sick.