I'M BACK BABY

Guess what happened to Rodney King? No he wasn't beaten again. He went for a swim in his pool and I guess he didn't know he couldn't swim. Yup thats right he drowned. Listen if your are black and think going for a dip is a good idea think again. You fuckin guys can't swim.When was the last time you saw a black guy on the olympic stage with a gold medal around his neck for swimming you have'nt cause it aint gonna happen. I wonder if he was found trying to swim with cement shoes, just asking. While we are on the subject of beatings why weren't the cops beating the "Stop Frisking protesters" on 5th ave this weekend. Yup this was organized by big Al and his "Keep the Black Man Down" Network. Listen if you didn't want to beat the black protesters you should have at least beaten the white assholes. Lets face the facts a majority of crime is being committed by, thats right you are correct. The white scumbags are defrauding investors and looting corporations. I think they call it "LETS FUCK THE WHITE PEOPLE AND RUN" Collar Crime. They ain't stealing Iphones, gold chains,sneakers and robbing the po folk.... Greece accepted a German bailout tied to harsh spending cuts, now isn't that a pain in the ass so to speak no pun intended. Guess what happens when two black guys are banging the same girl? You guessed right. Now do I have to splain, then FUHGETABOUTIT. Im just surprised they aren't fighting over a white chick. Talk about beatings how about that Tiger Woods. This guy doesn't suck enough, somebody should beat this guy with a nine iron and I mean physically beat him. There isn't a bigger douchebag on the planet, I stand corrected Alec Baldwin is the biggest douchebag on the planet. Go Stony Brook, oh yeah I forgot they got pistol whipped by Florida State. Great job by Stony Brook getting beat by a college thats best student has a 1.0 GPA

ITS IN THE NEWS

The Puerto Rican Day Parade was held this past Sunday in New York. Unfortunately the Parade ended halfway through because the marchers pulled their fucking hamstrings.don't all puerto ricans have bad hammys just look at the mets there is proof enough, Isn’t the Puerto Rican Day Parade suppose to be held in Puerto Rico? 40 arrests were made for minor infractions like gun possession, carrying gravity knives, box cutters, a cane and brass knuckles. Was this a fucking parade or a gang meeting. No arrests were made this year for rape, how unusual.... What’s the world coming to when a football player can’t get behind the wheel of his 2011 BMW drunk and sideswipes a bunch of parked cars. First off why is he driving while he is bombed out of his fucking mind, . Second why were the cops profiling, after all he was the only one side swiping cars and why can’t this 6’5” 304 lb steroid laced pant load call a cab. You wanna know why? Because no one ever accused him of being smart. Hey, Diehl why not get another tat while your in prison you fucking idiot. Talk about steroid abuse, The Yankees beat the Braves last night, enuf said. We hope Al Qaeda looking LeBron James doesn’t get a ring, Go Thunder. Did anybody catch the Devils doing their imitation of the Rangers last night. I find it hard to believe Brodeur has three rings.... I was just informed that piece of shit horse Dullahan crossed the finish at 6:30 this morning. In local news Stony Brook reached the College World Series. I wonder how long it will be before members of the team are arrested for DWI. PLAYBALL

AND THEY ARE OFF AND RUNNING

HEYYYY,Fuhgetabouit. Saturday it's the Sport of Kings, The Belmont Stakes. Over 110,000 homeless people will be crammed into Belmont Park to watch "I'll Have Another" have to get euthanised after he approaches the top of the stretch. This nag ain't running with his "Breath Right Nasal" Strips. Can anybody say Elmers glue factory. Anyway who wants to bet a fuckin horse that will pay 2.10. Oh yeah, I know EVERYBODY. Lets be honest this ain't no Secretariat or Man O War. The scent of Drakkar will fill the air, the parking lot will be filled with every Cadillac CTS imaginable, there will be more people with just one arm left on their eyeglasses, no heels left on their shoes and buttons missing from their shirts then you have ever seen. all hoping this is the day they step up from Pabst Blue Ribbon to a Heineken. Well guess what, it aint gonna happen. Whatsa Matta! you didn't see Dullahan on your Racing Form. Every horse entered has a chance because none of them have ever gone a mile and a half. So eliminate Union Rags because anything with Union in it having to work that hard will be finished at the eighth pole. So here are my picks, take Dullahan and Paynter and wheel them. Then take Paynter and Dullahan and wheel them. 40 Bucks, If you aint got the forty trust me there are guys at the track that will loan you the money. Rememeber look for the horse that is sweating, having nervous twitches and a white residue under his nose. Bingo, thats the winner. Now if the stupid ass maintenance workers at Belmont can keep the lights on it should be a good day. Mets play the Yankees tonight. Wait till you see this crowd. The white yuppie douchebags from Greenwich who just got done fucking Facebook investors out of their money and the crowd from Queens who never heard of Facebook who you can't fuck out of any money because they ain't got any.Trust me Murderers Row wasn't named after a great Yankee team, it's the block before you get to the stadium. The Devils survive for one more game, enuf said. Dodgers swept the Phillies, how great is that and Go Celtics. I will see you at the Cashiers Window.

TODAYS NEWS

The Unions and the Democratic Party in Wisconsin suffered a major blow last night. If I have to explain then FUHGETABOUTIT.How did that recall work out for you guys? Next to get soundly defeated is that left leaning pant load that is stinking up the Oval Office. Not to worry all you liberals you have plenty of time to kill yourselfs before the November elections, make sure you record it on your iPhones... Another Al Qaeda member was dispatched from this planet, Abu Yahia al-Libi was having a cup of ginseng tea when a Drone strike interupted his afternoon tea. Anyone wishing to fill this vacant position can go to Monster.Com and submit your application. Only those with criminal records need apply, this is a temporary position with no health or life insurance benefits. While we are on the subject of terrorists the Drakkar wearing maintenance workers at Belmont are threatening to strike on Stakes Day. So what is the NYRA waiting for? Fire them NOW, how hard is it to turn the light switches on and off. I am sure there are plenty of non-union electricians that could fill these positions. Scout WILLIS was arrested for underage drinking and presenting a fake I.D. What a surprise that the daughter of Demi "WHIP IT" Moore was arrested. I am shocked aren't you? She explained at her arrest that she drinks because her parents named her Scout.Was'nt that the name of a fucking horse. Listen they could have named her Blue Ivy.... Miley Cyrus got engaged to someone prettier than her. I can see the divorce already, who gets custody of the mirror. Lets move onto sports, Nats 7 Mets Suck, I actually thought I was watching a Ducks game. LeBron and the Heat are one game away from being eliminated, Yankees beat Tampa Bay, enuf said and the Devils should just forfeit game 4 and avoid further embarassment. Subway Series this weekend at Yankee Stadium. If you can survive the subway ride and then make it to the stadium without getting shot you will be in the drawing to win a 8x11 photo of David Cone exposing himself.

TECH NEWS

Hey all of us who own an iPhone, guess what. Samsung is coming out with their S3. This thing will make our Apple phone look like a can with a string attached . It has a 4.8 inch display, 8 megapixel camera and multitasking screen with face and voice recognition. With a price of 199.00 for the 16GB model. Bet we all feel stupid now for owning this shitbox.... How about all you Facebook investors, not time to slash your wrist yet but getting pretty close so don't put that razor blade away. If you bought in at 38 bucks and it closed at 26.90 I'm no mathematician but I think your getting fucked and fucked hard. Research in Motion stock slid below 10 bucks a share can anybody say say goodbye Blackberry. Listen if you still have a Blackberry chances are you never got rid of your fuckin beeper. In other words you are technology challenged. Verizon plans to get rid of 1700 deadbeat employees. They will be offered a buyout package, if they don't accept they could be laid off period. Whatsa Matta, its an offer you can't refuse. Ex-Gov El Duce Cuomo has been married to his wife for 58 years. Yes the same guy who stumbles around Forest Hills asking dumpsters if they know who he is. His son Andrew wants to legalize mary jane,pot,weed or whatever you want to call it so his father doesn't have to say he uses it for medical reasons.This is some pair of coconuts.... Lindsay Lohan will portray Elizabeth Taylor in a TV picture about Richard Burton. How fitting they finally found someone who has been dicked more times than Taylor. What does Richard Burton think about that, Oh yeah he is fucking dead

NO CUP FOR YOU JERSEY

What happened to the N J Devils? Marty Brodeur picked up some bad habits watching Lundqvist. First off how do you let another team score at will in one game. Hard to believe this putz has three rings. Guess what, he won't have a forth. How do you win when your opponents score 8 goals in 3 games and you score two. Hint Hint, you don't.... Talk about stupid, how about that Al Qaeda member look a like Lebron James. This stupid tatted up douche fouling out with 1:51 seconds remaining in overtime in game 4 Hey Lebron I guess we won't be seeing you at any mensa meetings. And we won't be seeing you after you lose to the Celtics.... The douchebag maintenance workers are threatening a strike at Belmont on Stakes Day. Whatsa Matta ! all of a sudden after three years you realized you were working without a contract. Well here is my plan for "youse guys". Go look for another tit job because you are all fired, typical low rent union stunt. GET THE FUCK OUT. I can get a monkey to change a fucking light bulb.... The Mets take on the Nats for 1st place tonight. Now if David Wright could get a hit with runners on base we stand a chance to win. Several other miracles must happen and the stars must be in proper alignment. Ike Davis acutally has to make contact with his bat. My sister had a better batting average than .164 The starting pitchers must go all the way. Counting on Acosta or Rauch will result in an automatic loss. How much are the Yankees paying Andy Pettitte to be a 500 pitcher. I will tell you, WAY TOO MUCH. Hey Andy, why not tell us some more fascinating stories about how you saw Clemens shoot up with steroids. Yankees play Tampa Bay. Yanks should be in last after this series. Place your vote tonight for what neighborhood is worse the Bronx or Tampa Bay. Im going with tampa bay.

FOREIGN FUCKIN TRUCK DRIVERS

Can somebody tell me how a truck driver who can barely speak fuckin english gets behind the wheel of a fuckin Semi and wanders into the the City of Chicago looking for the biggest building from here to ten buck two.Does Garmin make a GPS you can set to a Russian language. First off, what doesn't this stupid bastard understand. "NO TRUCKS ON THIS ROAD LOW BRIDGE". This sign even has a picture of a truck with a red line thru-it. ( Notice I mention RED LINE ) What about the sign before you go under a bridge, 12' Clearance. Okay, if you can't read this sign it also has a picture of a crushed trailer on it. WHATSA MATTA do these pictures look different in other fucking countries. I'm still trying to figure out how the Russians found there way to Berlin. Doesn't Minsk have any Bridges or Parkways? What is the requirement for these guys to pass a road test here, sign their fucking name? Maybe the textbooks should have a picture of a bridge with the word NYET on it. WTF. I am guessing the Russian immigrants are good at something but it ain't driving tractor trailers. On second thought do they even have a license to drive a truck or maybe its just for limos. Listen guys stick to what you do best, DRINKING VODKA, because you are driving me to fuckin drink. How fucking hard is it to figure out you are on the wrong road when all you see are cars. Listen to me you communist bastards I can get past the language barrier, it's the "stupid asshole barrier" I am having a problem with.