LETS HAVE A PARADE

I was wondering why the L.I.R.R. banned alcohol on the trains this weekend. Well I found out why, No it isn't because Esther Williams died at age 91. No booze due to the Puerto Rican Parade. Listen if I can't drink on the L.I.R.R. i will just have to drive. This parade usually results in woman getting raped, men getting raped, women being molested, a very large amount of women with muffin tops and camel toe and record sales of Corona Extra. Women from the Bronx are bringing Chlamydia, Gonnorhea and Shpyllis. No these aren't flowers to throw at Chita Rivera. The reason they take the train? because they can't get their cars started. If I had a business on 5th Ave I would be on lockdown till Monday. Chita Rivera is the Grand Marshal. I know I thought she was dead too. The only shot we got is RAIN. Paris Jackson attempted suicide because of ugly tweets she was receiving. Hey I got a good idea just turn off your fuckin Twitter Account. I must say I did read some of them and came to the conclusion that people who live in trailer parks do have twitter. She tried to kill herself with Motrin? I should have been dead years ago. Bruce and Kris Jenner are seperating. Kris Jenner sated she can no longer live with a man that keeps setting his face on fire. FUGHGETABOUTIT.

WHAT DAY IS IT???

Does anybody know or remember what day it is today? No stupid its not just Thursday. It is June 6th D-DAY. Yes this is the day we landed troops in Normanndy to kick the living shit out of the goose stepping, brown shirt, black boot wearing NAZIs. It was the largest invasion in history. Does anybody know how it ended? The Russians came in from the east and leveled Berlin and we finished off the rest of Germany we then turned our full force on the Japanese and left them squinting for hundreds of generations. You would be correct if you guessed America won WWll. So how did that turn out for us? The Jews and the guineas are driving Mercedes, The yuppie douchebags are driving Jap cars and the only ones buying GM Ford or Chrysler are the ones that remember the Japs and the Germans suck. Here is some advice, The Bronx zip code of 10457 has the highest rate of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphillis. No, these are not flowers that grow in the Bronx but apparently skanks the kind you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. So before you stick your dick into something ask if they are from the Bronx and if the answer is yes find out his or her zip code. I suggest you bring bacterial wipes with you before you sit down at Yankee Stadium. FUGHGETABOUTIT

SOME BOSTON NEWS

A crew member on the yacht owned by Red Sox owner John Henry killed himself. Gee I thought the Red Sox's were in 1st place. Oh well man overboard. Whitey Bulger begins his trial shortly for ordering 19 murders in the 70 and 80's and trust me they aint giving this old bastard a break he's 83 years old and thats was 40 years ago, fughgetaboutit. The Supreme Court ruled that DNA samples can be taken wihout a warrant. Somebody get me a fuckin lawyer...... More than 100 johns were arrested after soliciting sex from cops posing as prostitutes, hey ladies if your missing pages 4 & 5 from your Daily News good chance your husband took it and burned it. Whatsa Matta you can't get laid from your old lady, guess not. How fuckin stupid,, were these guys dialing 911 for hookers??? Now Michael Douglas denies saying oral sex led to cancer,i know why his wife hit him over the fucking head with the biggest pot she could find. hey Mike its time to check out like Jean Stapleton. Just 25% of science and math students are female and do you know why, because 33% percent of females think abortion is the most important issue they face so why be a math or science student. Guess who got the fuck out, your right New Jersey Senator Frank Lautenberg checked out at 89. Lets check the vote Nay or Yea enuf said

WHAT UP WITH THAT

Jason Kidd announced his retirement from the the NBA, I guess that leaves him more time to beat his wife. Hey Kidd just get the fuck out. I didn't know midgets were allowed to play in the NBA. He announced his retirement the sameday Jean Stapleton died. Any connection? Bruce Jenner the burn victim step-father of Kim Kardashian stated Kanye West wasn't giving enough emotional support to Kim. Oh well another black kid that doesn't know who its father is. What do you think they will name her? here are some names being tossed around, Rocky Road West, Moonlight Serenade West, Brucette West, or Blue Ivy oops thats already taken. You know it will be a winner since the fathers name is Kanye. This poor kid will be rich but will spend most of her fortune paying for fuckin analysis and rehab. "After Earth" bombed at the box office this weekend, do you know why? Because Jaden Smith sucks. 4 New York City pools will remain closed this summer due to budget cuts. So were are the kids suppose to pee, where are girls going to go to get molested, WTF

WHAT CAN'T WE EAT????

Michael Douglas claims he got throat cancer from eating to much pussy. Huh ? What? Thats right it wasn't from booze or alcohol but eating skank muff. Whats next finding out that after starring as Liberace he got HIV from getting banged in the ass by Matt Damon.... Kim Kartrashian is having a bady girl, so will it look like big lipped Kanye or big ass Kim. What if the baby has bigs lips and a big ass? will they name it Aunt Jemima. Somebody wanna tell Brad Pitt to get a haircut and nobody is going to see World War Z. so go adopt another Somalian kid and take that mentally deranged Angelina Joilie with you. Anthony Weiner got booed at the Israel Parade in New York. Listen if your getting booed by your own kind that control this city then you ain't never gonna be mayor. "Chuck Schumer" wants the FDA to approve better sun screen lotions,with all the problems in the world this loon is talking about better sunscreen are you fucking kidding me...stay out of the fucking sun theres your better sunscreen REALLY????? Is it the Benghazi coverup, or that the Attorney General lied under oath, but sun screen lotion? Oy Vey. Mets and Yankees are in a race for last place in their respective divisions. No stupid there isn't a World Series for last place. The Belmont Stakes is this Saturday, does anybody know what horse the mob is betting on? Just look for anything trained by a guy wearing dark glasses. FUGHGETABOUTIT

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????

The only question remaining does David Cone jerk-off in the broadcast booth and if he does is the load directed at John Sterling. I thought Keith Hernandez sucked but John Sterling is the worse. How do you get swept by one of the worse teams in baseball for christ sake you are pitching to hitters like Ike Davis and Ruben Tejada. Ike is 0 for 600. He hasn't gotten a hit since High School. Thank god Kevin Useless oops I mean Youkilis is scheduled to come back. Oh well the Mets are only 10 games out of last place but then again so are the Yankees. Tesla is coming out with the Model X priced at 30,000 bucks. It doesn't come with the charger that cost 70,000 bucks. Unemployment claims were up by 10,000 last week, well I guess they won't be buying the Tesla S. Crime dropped 16% in Astoria and they are praising the efforts of Officer Nicholas Gigante. ( any relationship to you know who ? ) He busted a serial graffiti artist on April 24th unfortunately the person that raped a woman and the person who shot somebody that day are still at large. The good news, the graffiti artist is behind bars. Somebody give me a fucking break. " After Earth" comes out this weekend and I don't know who sucks worse, Jaden or Will FUGHGETABOUTIT

WE NEED A NEW COACH

Sather fired Tortarella ending this physcos career with the N.Y. Rangers. He might be replaced by another guy that got hit in the head with one to many pucks, Lindy Ruff. What kind of name is Lindy? Tortarella is being interviewed to coach for the hockey team at Creedmoor. this guy now has plenty of time to watch all the porn he wants. If I was the Islander coach i would start updating my resume. The Yankees must really suck because the Mets just ain't that fuckin good. There will be mass suicide at Yankee stadium if they get swept either that or beer sales will be off the charts.Hey Jeter go pick up Mariano Rivera and just get the fuck out. Are there any female Yankee fans under 400 lbs. Do any of the concession stands sell a fuckin salad? Coors is in trouble for having the Puerto Rican flag on there beer cans. This isn't the first time the Nazi Brewing Company has been in trouble. What some companies wouldn't do to sell to the latino community. Trust me they ain't drinking that crap, they are getting high but it ain't a Rocky Mountain High. Well profits are up at U.S. Banks , profits hit a record high of 40.3 billion in the first quarter and these scumbags still won't lend money. Have you seen the list of mayoral hopefuls? A Chi-com, a lesbian, a sexual predator and two fucking idiots. My money is on the two fucking idiots. FUHGETABOUTIT